Kirby: Temperance
by ngrey651
Summary: Kirby the Star Warrior had to learn to control his gluttony. What he didn't count on was dieting with Dedede, going on a camping trip with Meta Knight and Knuckle Joe, and meeting three great new friends who would help him along the way. Read and review!
1. Prologue and Chapter One

**PROLOGUE**

"Oooooooooh." A pair of stubby pink arms wiped the sleep off of his large, blue, innocent eyes. "Oooooooooh." Those stubby pink arms were attached to a perfectly round, fat little circular body that was just as pink as the arms. He looked like a round, pink marshmallow. He was also wearing little red shoes, although he had no legs. They were simply stuck to the bottom of his…well, bottom. The walking pink ball with feet and stubby arms had a name though, and it wasn't "Pink Marshmallow". It was Kirby.

As Kirby walked outside of the bathroom of his house after finishing his shower, he headed for the kitchen. Jumping up to the cupboard on top of the counter, he pulled out a bowl of sugary cereal…then put it back. He'd learnt better. He got some less sugary cereal instead, but balanced it out by then grabbing a chocolate milk carton from the fridge.

Sitting down to eat his breakfast, he thought about the period of time when things had been much different, when he had been dieting. Those had been some of the healthiest days of his life. Of course, guys like him described healthy as "I didn't die".

"Now that I think about it…" Kirby thought to himself as he poured the cereal into his little blue bowl along with the chocolate milk, "I kinda owe that nice kid a thank you for all the help he gave me. I wish he'd stayed longer, it was nice having him around."

"Helloooooo? Hellooooooo?"

A voice at the door. Kirby quickly gulped down his meal and jumped out of his chair with a cheery cry of "Comiiiiiiin'!" He raced to the door and opened it up. "Good mornin', Mr. Mailman!"

The mailman, a tubby, tanned individual with big black eyes and a blue uniform smiled. "You're in a cheery mood. Here, I've got something that'll perk you up even more…you got lots of mail today!" He handed Kirby three letters from his pack, along with two packages, one large, one tubular. "The tube one came from outer space according to the return address and the…well…"

Kirby looked at the amount of postage on it. There were 4 stamps on it. Interestingly enough, they spelled out "Poyo", a favorite exclamation of Kirby's.

"Any idea who's it from?" The mailman asked.

Kirby beamed. "Oh I KNOW where it's from! Thank you, Mr. Mailman!" He eagerly shook the mailman's hand with great gusto, then ran back inside, opening up the tube package. Sure enough, out come a very nice-looking blow-up image of Gustave, his favorite TV chef…personally signed by the chef himself!

Kirby slowly moved his hands over it. "To My Biggest Fan, Kirby. From Gus…Gustave." He read slowly. "PS: You have a…a good friend."

Kirby smiled. Yeah, he did have a good friend, he thought to himself as he went to his room to get some tacks to put the poster up. He had a good friend indeed.

It was too bad that his friend had left early, he'd wanted to play with him more. But then again, if he'd stayed longer, he might have made Kirby go on a longer diet for "the good of his health". No thank you! He had learned his lesson.

It had taken a while though…

A very long while…

And it had started in a very strange way, with a very odd curse…

* * *

**KIRBY:**

**TEMPERANCE**

* * *

(Scene of looking up from his house at the stars, blinking in wonder.) 

_Kimi ga warau,_

_Kaze ga mieru,_

_Tsunai da sora,_

_Toki no mukô..._

_Sekai no hate de matteruuuu!_

(He gets an idea, and runs inside his house.)

_Maiagare,_

_Oshiminai yuuyake niiiii!_

_Inochi wa mezame utaebaaaaaa!_

_Kitto todoku!_

(He suddenly zooms out on his warpstar, laughing. He passes by a brown-haired youth who salutes him with middle and pointer finger as Kirby whizzes by him on the hill he's lying back on.)

_You will get your chance to shine!_

_Hajimari wa ima!_

_Janpushite…_

_Hashiridashite…_

_Omoi wa kitto todoku!_

(He passes by King Dedede on his castle balcony, Meta Knight in the court-yard, Tiff and Tuff by their house, and finally zooms up through the air towards the stars.)

_One day you will get your wings!_

_Ai tôsô subete!_

(The sun breaks through as dawn finds Dreamland. Kirby whizzes back to his house on his warpstar.)

_You can fly through blue, blue skiiiiieeees!_

(He jumps off his warpstar and punches the air, going "Poyo" as he does so.)

_You can touch the blue, blue skyyyyyyy!..._

(The sun rises up from behind him and his house. The title appears above them all.)

**CHAPTER ONE**

"KIRBYYYYY!"

That cry echoed throughout every nook and cranny of Dreamland, home of Kirby the Star Warrior. It was bellowed to the skies at least once a day by at least one angry individual. Someone ALWAYS had a bone to pick with Kirby.

Why?

Well…

"GIMME BACK MY FISH!" Chef Kawasaki snarled as he raced after Kirby through the market. Kirby was clutching a huge yellowtail tuna to his chest, shaking his circular body/head and going "No no no no noooo" as he ran.

"You gotta pay for that!" Kawasaki groaned angrily, brandishing his meat cleaver. He had his usual chef's hat on, along with that white apron and his blue shoes. He wasn't the best of cooks, but one thing WAS for sure…his ingredients were always choice. Kirby had taken it upon himself to score the main ingredient for what would have been Yellowtail Sushi Surprise for Kawasaki's customers. He felt he was doing them a favor…usually Kawasaki's cooking made people vomit, or gave them diarrhea, or gave them boils on-

WHAM!

Suddenly he realized that he hadn't been looking where he was going. Mostly because he'd closed his eyes and had kept on shaking his head going "No no no" in response to Kawasaki's requests to give back the huge tuna. He fell to the ground, still clutching the fish in one arm, but groaning and rubbing his sore head with the other "Poyoooo…" He moaned. Kirby opened his eyes…

And stared face to face with two other people, little Cappies by the looks of it. Their canary-yellow skin gave them away. Normally Cappies were of a darker shade of yellow or had tanned bodies, like Kawaski or the mailman. But these kids…the girl, anyhow, were the color of that pretty little bird he sometimes saw in the mayor's window. He'd hit the girl, obviously, since she was the one rubbing her head in pain as another kid, apparently her brother, helped her up.

The girl had a pale yellow ponytail and light green eyes. She was wearing a pink and green shirt, and frowned at Kirby. The boy had tanned skin, yellow hair with a green tint on the end that hung down, obstructing anyone from seeing his eyes. He had purple overalls with red buttons on.

"Who are you and why are you stealing that fish?" The girl asked. She seemed a little bossy.

The boy spoke up. "Yeah! Give it back to Kawasaki or I'll pound ya!" Hmm. He had a gruff kind of voice for a little kid.

"Uh…er…" Kirby muttered. "Who-who are you?" Somehow they seemed familiar.

"I'm Tiffany Ebaum, and this is Tufayl Ebaum. But everyone calls us "Tiff" and "Tuff"." Tiff suddenly looked at Kirby in a strange fashion. "Somehow I feel like I know you…"

"Yeah, you're kinda familiar." Tuff agreed.

Kirby rubbed the back of his head, blushing slightly, little round pink spots appearing on his cheeks. "Uh, well, er, nice to meetcha! Uh, I'm just gonna be going now, I'm starving and stuff…"

"Oh no!" Kawasaki growled, coming up from behind him. "Every day you guzzle down our food and never pay your tabs! And when we don't let you take anything, you steal it!"

"I'm HUNGRY!" Kirby moaned.

"You can't possibly be that hungry." Tiff said. "You just seem to like to eat."

Kirby shrugged. "It's not a crime to eat, is it?"

"No, but it is a crime to steal just so you can have something to eat!" Tiff scolded. "You should be ashamed!"

Kirby blushed again. "Bu-bu-but…"

"Hey, what's goin' on here?" A voice called out. It sounded like a country bumpkin in a way, yet there was a hint of authority in it. "Somebody causin' trouble-oh, it's that there Kirby."

Kirby gulped as the owner of that voice walked up behind Tiff and Tuff, who let him approach Kirby. He drew the huge hammer he kept with him and pointed it's massive wooden head with the star insignia on each end right at Kirby's quivering pink body.

"Howdy, Kirby." King Dedede, ruler of all Dreamland said. He was a blue, penguin-like creature with a yellow beak, in big fancy robes. He also wore a poofball hat. "I'm placing y'all under arrest for disturbing the peace, stealin' food, general mayhem and not payin' yer tabs."

"Uh…can I just pay a fine instead?" Kirby pleaded as Dedede dragged him to the castle.

As he was dragged in, he suddenly noticed the king had stopped. Someone was in the way…the local fortune teller.

"You got somethin' to say to Kirby, I reckon." Dedede said. He lifted Kirby in front of her.

She…looked mad. This was probably because Kirby had been eating the pies off her windowsill for the past three weeks.

"Uh…I can bake you new ones." He offered.

She suddenly smacked a strange, long and thin paper sheet on him. He felt a burning sensation which soon vanished. Then…

"You will never know peace, Kirby! Not until you control your gluttonous actions! This…I VOW. I curse you, Kirby!" She snarled, walking off with the tag. "CURSE YOUUUU!"

Kirby blinked. "Uh…can I just pay YOU a fine instead?"


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

"I don't even know why I'm here." Kirby groaned inside the cell. "Please lemme out! I hate prison! It's smelly and stuff!"

"Kid, would you keep it down?" The guard complained. "Some of us are trying to play cards."

"Poopy head." Kirby said, sticking his tongue out at the guard.

He was stuck inside a cell in the dungeon of the castle. The walls were of grey stone, some were cracked, but the cell's bars were of cold steel and iron, and he couldn't break out. Mostly because he couldn't suck up anything nearby. The guards were far away from him and not a single one of them, not even Waddle Doo, had a weapon.

Oh, the "sucking up" bit. You see, Kirby could suck up anything into his mouth, and if it was a special enough item, like a sword or some fireball, or even a cooking pot…he would gain incredible abilities, his inner potential being unleashed. However, the only thing these guys had were playing cards.

Waddle Dee was a round creature similar to Kirby in design, but he had a light, tanned face on his red body. He had black round eyes, and no mouth. He had dark red shoes, and he was sitting across from Waddle Doo. Waddle Doo was a round creature as well, only he had a single large eye of blue instead of a face, along with some small black strands of hair sticking out from the top of his head.

Kirby had no idea how they ate. It was rumored that Waddle Dees only worked for Dedede because he fed them so well. They came from some unknown part of Dreamland that had apparently been destroyed a long time ago. How, why, when, where, nobody knew. It was simply…gone.

But Kirby wasn't thinking of that.

"I wanna hot dog!" He whined.

"Shut up!" Waddle Doo snapped. "You're getting on my nerves."

Waddle Dee let out a "hmm" and blinked at its cards. Waddle Doo put his own down on the table. "HA! Three aces!" Waddle Dee looked at the cards, then put his own down. Four kings. Four of a kind always beat three. "Phooey." Waddle Doo said. "Okay, fine, fine. You win." He said. He walked out of the dungeon and up the stairs.

"Where's Mr. Doo goin'?" Kirby asked. Waddle Dee looked at him, unblinking. Kirby was pretty sure that, if he could have, Waddle Dee would be smiling.

A few minutes later he saw why…Waddle Doo had come down in a dress. He was forced to stand in front of Waddle Dee, and put his arms to his face, swishing the dress back and forth along with his butt.

"Oh Waddle Dee is super sweet, Waddle Doo's not very neat, Waddle Dee is super cool, Waddle Doo is just a fool, Waddle Dee has super class, Waddle Doo is-"

Before the conversation could get PG-13, a voice rang out from the top of the stairs, a voice that demanded the attention of all who heard, mysterious and sure of itself. "Is Kirby down there?"

Waddle Doo ripped off the dress and Waddle Dee quivered. "Y-yes." Waddle Doo managed to get out.

A form descended down the stairs, wrapped in a blue cloak. He had a silver mask on his face, with yellow, pupil-less eyes sticking out from its visor. He had blue skin, his hands drew his cloak back so that all could see his mask clearly, and he wore armored boots and a belt with a impressive-looking sword made of blue and orange flames, named Galaxia. This was Meta-Knight, a noble and valiant warrior.

"Ah, Kirby. Once more you are in deep trouble."

"I was just hungryyy! Please gemme out! I don't like dark places…" Kirby begged.

"I am afraid you are not going to be simply let off with a fine." Meta Knight told Kirby. "You are in much trouble, Kirby. While Dreamland is grateful for the heroics you performed, that does not give you the right to be a…as I have heard people say…greedy little pig."

"What? Poopy heads!" Kirby muttered.

"Now then, I am to escort you to the throne room. King Dedede and the others are waiting for you. The King shall pass sentence on you for your crimes." Kirby was sure he heard a brief flicker of amusement in Meta Knight's voice, as if there was something out of the ordinary waiting for him. "Come."

Meta Knight held up a key to the keyhole locking Kirby in and opened the cell door. Nodding, he turned to the stairway. Kirby bit his lip, fearful, but followed after Meta Knight. He only hoped that whatever King Dedede had planned, it wasn't anything like having to cough up the food he'd eaten…he'd actually had to do that one time, the experience was very unpleasant.

Finally Meta Knight led up to the huge double-doors that led into the grand hall and the throne room. "Hold. Wait here. Do not enter until we call." Meta Knight told him. He then entered the throne room, leaving Kirby alone with his thoughts.

"Ooh…what if they make me sell my house to pay for all the stuff I ate? Or-or what if they whip me! Oh please mommy, don't let them whip me…" Kirby said, quivering fearfully, putting his arms to his lips in fear.

"Come on in." Meta Knight's voice rang out. Kirby gulped and walked in, fully expecting to be yelled at the moment he stepped inside by King Dedede.

However, when he arrived inside the huge, red and gold throne room, and saw the King sitting at his big blue and red chair, the King looked a bit…odd. As if unsure of what he was about to say. He was talking with someone who was standing in between Tiff and Tuff and Kawasaki and Meta Knight. The person was…

No way…

A…

A human?


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

"Oh, you're here. Good." Dedede said. "Kirby, I'd like to introduce you to your new diet trainer, Nick."

The human turned around and Kirby looked at him with curiosity in his huge eyes. Wow…a real human. He didn't see too many of those. This one was a teenager, with brown curly/wavy hair that had been brushed back. He wore a green t-shirt with a blue vest, and had on white sneakers with blue jeans. He was also wearing a nice-looking mood necklace. He had a very friendly, kind smile.

"I'm Nick." He said. "I'm going to be helping you on your diet."

Kirby blinked stupidly for a few moments. Finally he spoke.

"Uh…what?"

"You're going on a diet." Tiff said.

"We all talked it over." Tuff agreed.

"And we decided that the only way to get you to stop being such a little pig…" Meta Knight spoke.

"Is to put you on a diet to change your eating habits." King Dedede finished. "Nick here happens to be a newcomer to Dreamland, but when he heard about our problem, he made the brilliant suggestion. He volunteered to be your trainer himself. He also happens to be the fittest person here in town…"

"Save for Knuckle Joe and I." Meta Knight said.

"I'm going to be helping you to slim down and you're going to be living a much healthier life soon, Kirby." Nick said. "You'll be thanking me when this is done, trust me!"

Kirby blinked again. "Um…can I just pay a fine?"

"No." the kid said.

"Can I have someone else do this?"

"Nooo."

"Do I have ANY say in this at all?"

"Na-_nooooooo_!"

"No offense, mister, but I kinda LIKE eating whatever I feel like!" Kirby complained.

"Well too bad." Kawasaki said, crossing his arms.

"Poopy heads!" Kirby said, sticking his tongue out.

"If it's any consolation, you won't be alone in this." Meta Knight said.

Now it was King Dedede's turn to blink stupidly. "Wait, _what_?"

Everyone but Kirby turned to him. "You didn't think he was the ONLY one in Dreamland we decided needed to go on a diet course, did you?" Meta Knight asked, and Kirby was sure he was grinning underneath the mask.

"ME?...on…on a diet, with…with that there KIRBY? That's…that's just…" King Dedede muttered.

"We start tomorrow! First thing at 7:00 in the morning." The kid said. "And Kirby, you and Dedede will be sleeping in the same room together so that you can get used to each other's company. We've cleaned up a nice big room in the castle. Now go get a good night's sleep."

"Buh-buh-buh…" Kirby stuttered.

Dedede howled. "SON OF A-"

SOON…

"…let's get something straight." Dedede said as he adjusted the blanket on his large bed. "I don't like you very much."

"…I know." Kirby mumbled, turning around in his own bed so that his back faced the royal penguin.

"That doesn't mean I don't respect what you've done for Dreamland, though." Dedede said, fluffing his pillow. "So…I'll make a deal with you. We'll do better if we help each other get through this, won't we?"

"…uh…I suppose. Do you think so?"

"Reckon' course."

"Reckon what?" Kirby asked, turning to face the penguin.

The penguin gave Kirby a look like he was a total moron. "Ya reckon? Of course!"

"Oh right." Kirby supposed. "Boy, southern people are so weird…"

Dedede drew his hammer out. "I heard that!"

"Aw, fuddy duddy, that was supposed to stay in my head!" Kirby groaned as Dedede raised his hammer.

WHAM!

So much for working together!


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Kirby and Dedede had been sleeping soundly…

"HAD" being the operative word. Because at precisely 7 AM…

A bugle playing "Reveille" blasted at full volume in their room. Screaming, they fell out of bed, plugging their ears in desperation. They turned to see the kid from yesterday, grinning. Next to him was…

Knuckle Joe?

Knuckle Joe was a humanoid creature with no nose, blue eyes, and spiky blond hair that was parted to both sides. He wore a white headband, red shoes, and a blue karate gi. He happened to be a very good martial artist.

He also, apparently, could play the bugle. He put the bugle down and grinned. "Wake-up time, maggots." He said in a cheerful yet threatening fashion. "It's time for you to get to work! We're starting off with breakfast, most important meal of the day and all."

Dedede rubbed his eyes. "Is that really YOU? What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help you lose some poundage, fatty." Knuckle Joe said.

"Hey, you can't-" Dedede began.

"While we're on this training course, we CAN." The kid said. "Sorry, honestly. Now come on! I made you some pancakes."

"Oh goody! I love pancakes!" Kirby said, clapping his...well, he didn't have hands, but you know what I mean! He ran after the kid and Knuckle Joe as they left the room, heading downstairs to the dining hall. Dedede grumbled something about being "big-boned" and then walked off after them in a huff.

THE DINING HALL…

"What…"

"Are…"

"THESE?" Kirby and Dedede asked at the same time.

Before them, on blue plates, were pancakes. But…they were…kinda browner than they should have been. And…they were kinda speckled. And they hung limp on our dieter's forks.

"Jinx, you owe each other a soda after this is all over." The kid laughed. "And those are the pancakes. They're made from grain and nutritious."

"Bingo! The two magic words that make me puke!" Dedede groaned in disappointment.

"Just eat it." Knuckle Joe said. "Here, have some non-fatty margarine." He put down a small cup of margarine on the table next to the two. Dedede and Kirby both looked at the margarine, then each other, then dove for the margarine, beginning to fight over who would put its contents…ALL of it, just to make the pancakes taste good…on their plate.

Luckily they didn't call Knuckle Joe "Knuckle Joe" for nothing. He thrust his fist forward…POW! The margarine went flying through the air and hit the wall with a "CRASH" and a "SPLAT". Kirby and Dedede groaned.

"Now you gotta eat it plain. Deal with it." Knuckle Joe said. "Also, here's what you're drinking."

He nodded at Nick, who put down two bottles on the table. One had an orange liquid, one had a red liquid.

"Ooh, is it…hey, this isn't orange juice!" Kirby complained. "CARROT JUICE? People actually drink this stuff? Ewwww!"

"Yum, nothing like a bottle of blood to start my day!" Dedede chuckled as he held the bottle up, trying to gross Kirby out further.

"Nice try." Kirby said. "I know that's tomato juice. It'll take more than that to scare ME, Dedede!" He laughed. Dedede groaned and put the bottle on the table.

"Oops. I think that stuff expired yesterday." The kid remarked, upon examining the bottle.

"Ew disgusting that's so gross get that stuff away from me!" Both our dieters groaned as they tried to scoot away from the bottle.

"Anyhow, I'll go get you another bottle." Tiff told them helpfully.

"Can we just have some apple juice?" Kirby asked. "I like apple juice. Especially in the little juice boxes."

"Or better yet, whiskey?" Dedede asked.

Knuckle Joe poked him in the stomach. "No wonder you're so fat! You're gonna drink the veggie juice and you'll LIKE IT."

"How many days of this are we gonna hafta to endure?" Dedede groaned as his head sank to the table.

"If I get my way…as many as it TAKES." Knuckle Joe said. "Now eat up, maggots! You've got an exercise session in half an hour out in the courtyard!"

Knuckle Joe walked off. Tiff came back with some juice. Dedede and Kirby groaned as she put it down…then when they saw what it WAS…

"Or-organic apple juice?" Kirby asked.

"I think it's just as healthy as veggie juice, don't you?" She asked, smiling at them. Kirby beamed. "That's it, from now on, we're best friends!"

"Ditto!" Dedede said, chugging down his juice.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER ****FIVE**

Somehow they managed to choke down the pancakes, washing them down with quick sips from the vegetable juice that had been given to them. Finally they both walked out of the dining hall, to the courtyard at the back of the castle.

The kid was waiting for them with…costumes?

"Here. Put these on." He said. He tossed them white t-shirts. "They're good for this kind of exercise. Plus they're specially designed to be sweat-proof, easy to wash, STRETCHABLE…"

"HEY!" Both Kirby and Dedede shouted. But they put on the t-shirts. Dedede was reluctant to part with his fancy robes, but he put the t-shirt on all the same.

When he DID though…

Kirby and the kid began laughing madly. When Dedede looked down, he saw why…

"I've got MOOBS?!? Why didn't nobody say nothing before?"

"Your robes hid them splendidly. A fine pair of moobs indeed, good sir." The kid snickered. "Sorry, sorry, uh…now, Knuckle Joe is going to be here in a few minutes to help you run laps. To get you started and your blood pumpin', we're doing some stretching exercises. Now let's start by touching our toes!"

This proved harder than it looked. Dedede was literally so fat he couldn't bend over to touch his toes. "GRRR! RRRRR! RAAAUUHHHHH!" He roared, straining his arms and torso over his fat stomach. He just couldn't reach those toes of his! He finally fell over flat on his back, actually FLIPPING over. He sobbed on the ground and didn't get up.

Kirby however, was having a different problem. His arms were too short. It wasn't that his stomach was big, his arms just couldn't reach his toes! And soon HE was flipped over on the ground, sobbing.

"Uh…let's move on to leg exer-"

Kirby and Dedede looked at him.

"…how about jump rope?" The kid suggested.

SOON…

"Hey, this is kinda fun!" Kirby remarked as he jumped up and down in the jump rope. The kid and Dedede were holding each end of the rope, doing a steady pattern. Kirby had gotten into it quickly.

"See my name is Kirby, I'd like to see a derby, and the only other thing that rhymes happens to be scurvy!"

"Uh…right." The kid said.

Then Dedede tried it. Somehow, he got into it too!

"Cinderella, dressed in yella, went upstairs to kiss a fella, made a mis-stake, and kissed a-snake, how many doctors will it take?"

But alas, catastrophe was on the wind. This happy moment was not to be.

"One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…nine…ten…uh, I forgot, just what comes after te-AAAAAA!!!"

He slipped up and got tangled in the rope, falling on his face. Unfortunately, he was so big that he tugged Kirby and the kid onto him. They all fell in a pile, groaning.

"You know…I think we've done enough warm-ups for today…" The kid groaned.

"Good, cuz I'm hungry!" Kirby complained. "When's luuuunch?"

"Hold it, hold it. Nobody's eating anything." Knuckle Joe said, coming out onto the courtyard. He cracked his knuckles and grinned.

"It's time for us to do a little bit of one-one-one training. Kirby, today you and I will be doing leg exercises and laps around the courtyard while Tubby-be-be goes with Nick to do some muscle exercises inside, they'll build up his upper body strength."

"But I gots plenty of upper body strength!" Dedede complained.

"Your moobs beg to differ." The kid said. Dedede groaned. "Now come on, let's go." The kid said. "Just try to relax. Remember, this is going to do wonders for your body."

"What would do wonders for my body is a vacation, think you can give me that instead of a workout?" Dedede groaned.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER ****SIX**

"Come on, you fat pile of guts!"

"AAAARGH!" Dedede said, straining his arm muscles, the 50 pound weight above his head.

"Keep going, Dedede! You're NOT giving up! I'm gonna help you no matter what!"

"RRRRR!"

"Sorry again for insulting you, but it gets you fired up, and that's good for what we're doing. Now come on! Do you want it?"

"I WANT IT!" Dedede howled.

"Come and get it!"

"I caaaan't!"

"Yes you can! Push! Push!"

"GRRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

"Harder!" The kid shouted. "Come on, you can do it!"

"I CAAAAAAAN'T!" Dedede howled.

The kid held the bubble gum closer to Dedede, who tried to reach up and grab it again. The kid drew it away quickly, then lowered it again. Suddenly, in a huge burst of energy, Dedede reached up and grabbed the bubble gum from the kid's hands, laughing.

"Hmm." The kid said, looking down at his fancy watch. "49 seconds. Under a minute…just like I'd hoped! Good job, good job!"

Dedede popped the bubble gum into his mouth and began chewing. "Oh, sweet chewy goodness, how I missed ya, darlin'!"

"I wonder how Kirby's doing?" The kid wondered.

AS IT WERE…

"Come on, pinky! You can do this! Move it, private pink! Move it, move it, move iiiiit!" Knuckle Joe shouted as he drove the go-cart next to Kirby, who was huffing and puffing as he ran down the track.

"…can't…keep…this…up…any…more…" He groaned. "Please, no more! It huuuurts!"

"Kirby, don'tcha give me that! You've done worse than this! We've only been at this for five minutes! You've got 15 more to go!"

"Aw…" Kirby groaned. "No more, no mooooore!"

Finally the 20 minutes of running had ended. Kirby flopped to the ground of the courtyard, panting heavily. "So…thirsty…" He mumbled.

"Here." Knuckle Joe said, giving Kirby a water bottle. "Drink up."

Kirby's arms slowly reached up and took the bottle from Knuckle Joe's hands. He mumbled out a "thank you" and downed the water bottle in one gulp. "So…tired…"

"Come on, Kirby." A voice called out from the castle doorway. Kirby looked to the side and saw Tiff there, smiling. "Let's go get you some lunch."

"Will you marry me, best friend?" He asked her, having heard the "L" word he loved so much.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER ****SEVEN**

Lunch was…well…

Breakfast had been wheat pancakes. But at least they had SORT of been able to tell what it was. However, neither Dedede nor Kirby could understand what this thing was that had been put on their plates with an apple, a carrot and their drinks, two bottles of water.

"What is this?" Kirby asked curiously, poking it with his stubby arm.

The kid pulled Kirby's arm away. "No playing with your food." He told him. "That's a hamburger."

Dedede was the first one out of the two to say it: "It's grey."

"Yep." Knuckle Joe said.

"It's…flat…"

"Uh huh." Tuff admitted.

"It…it's squishy…"

"Yeah." Tiff spoke.

"It smells kinda funny."

"So?" Meta Knight asked.

"THIS is our lunch?" Kirby groaned. "Can't I have some hot dogs instead?"

"No." The kid told them. "Now come on, guys. Let's leave our dieters alone to their lunch and their thoughts. When you two are finished, come out to the courtyard and we'll start teaching you on the evils of fatty food. Now enjoy your lunch!"

Walking off, the fivesome left Kirby and Dedede alone with the, and the two Dreamlanders used the term loosely, "hamburgers".

"…they can't actually expect us to swallow this tripe, do they?" Kirby asked.

"Actually, some tripe right about now would hit the spot, I reckon." Dedede admitted.

Kirby and Dedede groaned and their heads hit the table. Finally Kirby spoke up.

"Well, I guess I should try it. Pass the salt."

"…there isn't any salt."

"…phooey." Kirby said. He took his fork and knife and carefully cut a piece. "Okay, nice little bites, nice little bites." He thought.

He took a bite.

"…it's okay." Kirby admitted. "But it kinda smells though."

Dedede poked it with his fork. "Well, this thing is not fit for a king like ME, why I-"

WOOOOOP! Kirby sucked it up into his mouth. Dedede was furious. "Why you little…"

"Hey, you were all "this is not fit for a king", Dedede!" Kirby complained.

"I was gonna eat it eventually!"

"Yeah right! You were gonna let it sit there, which is all you do, sit on your throne! When was the last time you actually GOT any exercise? They're all right, this WILL be good for you!"

"You little pig!" Dedede growled, jumping on Kirby. The two began punching and kicking angrily, upsetting all the food on the table, and soon they were hitting each other over the head with their apples. When they finally broke, spilling the sweet juices out, they grabbed their carrots and proceeded to duel.

"You cannot match my power!" Dedede chuckled as he lunged.

Kirby blocked it. "Take this, Darth Dedede!" He laughed, jumping into the air and bringing the carrot down hard.

"Curses!" Dedede shouted as his carrot snapped. "Foiled again!"

The two looked at each other and blinked. Then they stared at each other's carrots. Finally they smiled and broke out into laughter that echoed throughout the hall.

Maybe this whole diet and exercise thing wouldn't be so bad after all, Kirby thought.

However, when they went out into the courtyard and Knuckle Joe saw the mess they'd made on their shirts…

"You…ruined…the shirts." Knuckle Joe muttered slowly.

They were soaked with apple juice stains and carrot pieces were stuck all over. They were also ripped in various places.

"Well, they're just t-shirts." Kirby defended.

"I made those myself!" Knuckle Joe groaned. "You ruined them! How could you rip them?"

"Just make some news ones." Dedede told Knuckle Joe. "As your king, I command you to get over it."

Knuckle Joe's eyes became slits. "Oh, really?..."

SOON…

Kirby and Dedede were doing push-ups in the mud, while Knuckle Joe drenched them with a hose from above. They were also chanting.

**"Our drill sergeant helps us learn, we are both just lowly worms! He commands the sun and ****rain,**** we are both just greasy stains! Our drill sergeant…"**


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Dinner wasn't much better than lunch. It was a protein shake with some tofu fries, an attempt on Tiff's part to cheer the two up by making a meal that resembled something they both liked. It didn't work, but they appreciated it all the same, Kirby especially. Eventually it came time for them to go to bed. They hit the sack very early, at 8:00. Dedede fluffed his pillow again, muttering about how when this was all over he was going to put Knuckle Joe to death.

Kirby looked out the window at the stars. He blinked slowly, as a look of wonder appeared in his big eyes. He held out one arm, and pointed at a spot. A star appeared. As he pointed to different parts of the sky, stars seemed to appear, one by one. It was beautiful.

"I want the stars." He thought out loud. Yet it wasn't the kind of "want" in a "I want a candy bar" want, but something deeper. It was more of a sense of how he wanted "peace on earth", that kind of want, that sort of desire. It was philosophical, not material.

"And I want cheeseburgers. But we don't always get what we want." Dedede muttered. "Hey, close the blinds. There's a chill tonight and I don't wanna get cold. I can't stand bein' cold."

"But…you're a penguin." Kirby said, rubbing his head.

"So? You're a pink pinball. That don't mean you like being knocked around, do it?" Dedede said angrily.

Kirby looked hurt. But Dedede didn't care. "Just close the f—kin' window." He snarled.

Kirby burst into tears. "Don't swear! You're so mean!" He whimpered, running out of the room and down the hallway. Dedede "harrumphed" and went over to close the window himself.

Kirby found himself running, running…but as time went on, he suddenly realized he had no idea where he was running to. He had gotten lost. He looked around the unfamiliar hallways and whimpered. "Poyo…I forgot how often I get lost in this castle…" He mumbled. "I shoulda told that trainer that…"

Then he saw it. A door that was open a crack…and a smell was coming from it…a GREAT smell. Food! Oh sweet, delicious food!

Kirby opened up the door and was delighted to see what he saw. A HUGE fridge, and on the table was some hamburgers that looked properly cooked, burgers that LOOKED like burgers! Cheese, lettuce, oh dear sweet burger goodness! "Let me at 'em!" Kirby howled eagerly, jumping. Unfortunately…

THWACK!

Kirby was sent flying away from the food. A club had whacked him away. He groaned and rubbed his head. "Owie!" When he looked up at who was holding the club, he gasped. "Oh! Oh fuddy duddy, not YOU!" He complained.

A Hercules beetle-like creature with horizontal pincers, a spiked club in one hand and a cutlass attached to its belt stood towering over him, and Kirby was pretty sure it was grinning. It stood on it's hind legs and besides having a brown belt, it had a t-shirt that read "I'm Not Neglected Anymore"…although Kirby couldn't ACTUALLY read it. This was none other than Bugzzy, an annoyingly tough foe that Kirby had fought several times before.

"Welly, welly, well. Evenin', Kirby." It said in its gruff, tough tone. "I was told that I might have to forcibly keep people away from the King's fattiest foods…who knew YOU'D try to go for this stuff? Boy, I lucked out. Now I get to knock you around for a while for what you did to me all those times!"

"Hey, I was just tryin' to save Dreamland, Bugzzy!" Kirby defended. "You wouldn't let me past!"

"You called me "stupid bug" over and over, puffball." Bugzzy snarled. "And I'm not just "Bugzzy". I'm FRED Bugzzy."

Kirby blinked slowly. "Fred?"

"Yep. Now then…" Fred slammed his spiked club on the ground. "To business!" He growled.

"Eek!" Kirby whimpered.

Fred ran at him, club raised. He brought it down at Kirby, who rolled to the side. Fred snarled and slammed it down again and again, but Kirby continued to roll out of the way, dodging the attacks. Fred finally stopped slamming his mace down randomly and held the mace up high. It began to glow. Uh oh. That wasn't good…

"Take THIS, you little brat! DEATHLY SMASH!" He snarled, bringing it down full force onto the kitchen floor just as Kirby jumped up through the air and onto the table.

BA-BOOOOM! A shockwave rippled through the floor, ripping up floor tiles as it did so. If Kirby had been on the ground, he would be in pieces by now. Kirby gulped.

"I ain't holding back just cuz you're a kid! You gotta pay for all you did to me!" Fred snarled. "You deserve it anyway, you little pig!" He drew his cutlass and lunged for Kirby.

"Stop calling me names!" Kirby shouted. He was angry. He jumped through the air, landing perfectly on the big bug's sword. He then ran along it and punched Fred right in the eye, sending him flying back. The sword dropped from the beetle's hands…

Kirby sucked it up.

He twirled around as light enveloped him. A green, elf-like cap materialized above him, landing perfectly on his head. He stopped twirling and raised his arm, and a sharp sword with a yellow handle and a green hilt landed in his outstretched arm. He held it high into the air, he had transformed into the great Sword Kirby!

Fred growled. "Oh, taking a power boost, huh? Don't mind if I do the same thing!" He snarled, stuffing every single one of the burgers Kirby had been hoping to eat into his face, pincers snapping. Kirby growled and rushed at him, sword held behind him. Fred raised his club and smashed it down, but Kirby jumped to the side and thrust forward, striking Fred's hand. Fred howled and dropped the mace, holding his hand tightly.

Kirby jumped into the air and brought the sword down, but Fred jumped back, growling. He then rushed forward, pincers snapping, aiming to cut Kirby in half. Kirby ducked underneath the snapping pincers and…

"KIYAAAAH!" He brought the sword up in a rising strike, knocking Fred onto his back. He groaned as a thick red line on his stomach and chest marked where he'd been hit. Ooh. Not pretty.

"Ohhhh…" He groaned. He stood back up. "I'm not finished! I've got one more move!" His eyes turned slightly red as he positioned himself facing Kirby directly. A glowing orb of red/white energy formed in front of his pincers. "DEATHLY DEATH RAY OF DEATHLY DEATHNESS!" He shouted.

Well, he WOULD have shouted it. But the moment he got to "DEATHNESS", a frying pan suddenly fell off the fridge and hit him on the head. With a "CLANG" and a "THUD" he hit the ground, knocked out.

Kirby moaned and rubbed his stomach. He walked up to the fridge as his Sword power vanished, cap and all. But unfortunately the fridge had an electronic lock. Phooey. He walked out of the kitchen, still hungry.

On the other hand though, he was now very tired, and was pretty sure he could get some sleep after an exercise like that…


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

"I heard you beat up Fred." Nick said the next morning as he walked Kirby down the hall towards a "conditioning room". "You're pretty good!"

"If I hadn't copied his sword power, I would be in pieces. I don't know if that's very "good"." Kirby moaned. "Anyhow, why aren't I going to breakfast like Dedede probably is? I'll be he's stuffing himself on Wheaties or something…"

"Actually, he's with Knuckle Joe who's trying to convince him not to take up a different diet. The guy is getting desperate for a Big Mac and fries."

"I feel his pain." Kirby said.

"Well come on in." The kid said, pushing the conditioning room open. Kirby sat down in a chair at the only table that was in there. There was a sign in the room that read "Food is Evil" and there was a plate with a very specific food item on it. The kid sat in the chair opposite Kirby, with a small bat in his hands.

"What's that sign say?" Kirby asked.

The kid looked surprised. "You…can't read?"

"…no…sorry…"

"Oh, that's…I'm sorry. It says "Food is Evil."

"Oh-WHAT? It is NOT!"

"Now, we're going to do some negative association, alright? We'll work on your reading problem later. How negative association works is this: I ward you off eating fatty and sugary treats by associating them with bad feelings. This will reinforce the body's natural desire to look for healthy food, which you Dreamlanders seem to repress like nobody's business."

Kirby blinked a few times. He wasn't exactly sure what Nick had said.

But **then** he realized what the brown item on the plate was.

"Is that…oooh…" He licked his lips. "Boy, I'd sure liked ta eat that Hostess "Ding-dong" right there."

**TWHACK!**

Kirby was quickly, harshly whacked over the head by the bat. The side of his head hit the table.

"It's working! I'm losing my appetite! I'm losing my desire to eat! I'm-I'm losing consciousness…" Kirby groaned in pain, head swimming.

"Get up, you weenie!" The kid said. "There's 40 more treatments to go!"

ELSEWHERE…

"Okay, let me see…how about the Snails and Seafood diet?" Dedede asked. He was sitting on the floor in the library, pouring over diet books. He was surrounded by discarded books, while Knuckle Joe tapped his foot anxiously, his arms folded in mute disapproval.

"…no, how about-" Knuckle Joe began.

"Oh I know! Dr. Frank's Frog Leg and Flatulence Diet?"

"No, what about e-"

"Earl's Easy Carbs Diet?"

"No."

"The Atkins Diet?"

"NO."

"South Beach?"

"NO!"

"The "Zone" Diet?"

"EATING LESS AND EXERCISE. How's that for an idea?!?" Knuckle Joe yelled in Dedede's face.

Dedede looked him in the eye, shaking his head. "Look, I'm a typical overweight Dreamlander. I want somethin' that'll take away mah fat, but still let me stay a messy pig, y'know?"

"…" Knuckle Joe blinked a few times. Then a suggestion came from Meta Knight, who was sitting in the library reading "Sun Tzu's "The Art of War"."

"Then get a liposuction operation." He suggested calmly, turning the page.

Silence.

Then…

"…yeah, that's the ticket." Dedede said. "Nothing radical!"

MEANWHILE…

Kirby groaned as he sulked in the corner. Tiff walked into the room and sat next to him. "Kirby, are you alright?"

"Noooo." He whined. "I wanna chocolate bar or something!" He said.

"Kirby, you can't keep eating whenever you feel like it, you have to learn to eat properly."

"I know how to use forks and knives! I even cook!"

"Yeah, we know that. I ate one of your dishes at the big Dreamland Annual Cook-Off here in the castle. You made soup."

"Yeah, I did!" Kirby said proudly.

"It was really fattening…"

"…" Kirby instantly got all "gloom-gloom-gloom" on Tiff.

"But very tasty, I…I had seconds." Tiff admitted.

Kirby picked up his head. "Sec-Seconds?"

"Yep!" Tiff said, hugging him. "You're a great cook, Kirby! You just gotta learn how to make healthier food, that's all. And we're gonna help you. All of us. We're friends now, that's what friends do, right?"

Kirby looked up at her. "R-really? You…you're my friend?"

"A best friend!" Tiff said to him. "And I can't let down a cute face like yours."

Kirby hugged her back. "Aw, thanks Tiff! You're the best!"


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

It had been precisely two hours since Dedede had decided to try liposuction. Unfortunately for him, when Knuckle Joe, the kid, Meta Knight, Tiff and Tuff met up with Kirby and Dedede to perform the operation, it…well…it didn't go right.

"Now, do you two know what liposuction IS?" Knuckle Joe asked.

"I do." Dedede said.

"I don't."

"Basically they cut your stomach open and-" Meta Knight began.

"STOP-STOP-STOP!" Kirby yelled, putting his arms over his head, trying to cover the part of his body that heard things. "No more, no more!!!"

"…okay, it IS a gross subject." Knuckle Joe admitted. "Now then…bring it out, guys."

Tiff and Tuff held up a huge bungee cord and promptly tied Dedede up hard in a huge knot. Dedede's blue face was now turning purple.

"What ARE you doing?" Kirby asked. The kid looked horrified too.

"Well, we couldn't find a surgeon, so we had to resort to this." Knuckle Joe said. "Once the air goes out of his lungs and he starts starving, substantial weight loss should-"

The kid ripped the cord off. "No, no, NO. We are NOT starving them!" He told them.

"Well then, we'll just do the other thing. We'll suck the fat out." Meta Knight said.

The kid rubbed his chin. "Well, I guess that works better…"

"Wait, SUCK?" Dedede panted.

"Yep. From the buttocks." Meta Knight said, pulling out the front end of a vacuum and approaching the shivering Dedede, holding the other end of the vacuum in his hands.

"Uh…actually, I…I reckon I'll just drink lotsa "Tab"…"

"Bend over." Meta Knight said.

FIVE MINUTES LATER…

"AAAAA!!!" Dedede screamed as he clung desperately near the top of a pillar in the dining room, the vacuum's end sucking in his foot.

"ARE YOU SURE THIS IS HOW THE SURGEON GENERAL SAID IT'S DONE?!?" Tuff yelled as he tried to pull the vacuum off of Dedede's foot with Meta Knight and Tiff.

The kid slapped his forehead. "…this isn't working. We're going to have to-hey…where did Kirby go?"

Where else? Kirby had snuck off back to the kitchen so that he could pig out on its contents…not the fridge's, not this time. This time he would go to the cupboards! There had to be some snacks in there, he figured.

However, when he opened the kitchen door…

"Oh PLEASE, no!" Kirby moaned horribly at the sight of the white and red-suited being in front of him. Always smiling, wearing elf-like shoes, with a long cap that had a golden bell on the end, was none other than that annoying bomb expert…

"Ph34r teh me!" Poppy Bros Senior laughed happily.

"Why did the king and the others hafta hire you dunder-heads?" Kirby moaned. "Didn't you die?"

"I got better!" Poppy Bros Senor laughed, in that same super-happy tone.

"You're so mean!"

"You know, melting me down to nothing with Nitroglycerin wasn't very nice either." Poppy Bros said, no longer speaking in a delighted tone. "THAT HURT."

Kirby was suddenly very afraid. "Uh, can we…er…put it behind us and stuff?"

"Sure…after I've blown you up." Poppy Bros Senior said cheerfully. "First I'll catch you. Then I'll stuff this dynamite I've got into your nostrils, then I'll-"

Kirby was off and running. Poppy Senior was right behind him, still cheerful and laughing.

"Stop making this difficuuuuulllt!" He called out, laughing madly.

"Poyoooooo!" Kirby screamed, running for the nearest door. He yanked it open…the courtyard! Crud! But he couldn't go back. If he could somehow clear the courtyard's brick wall that surrounded it…

He bolted for the wall…

But a well-thrown bomb said "NO". It exploded in front of the wall, bouncing off his head. He hit the ground, groaning in pain. Poppy Senior ambled over, tossing dynamite up and down. "You knew this was comin'!" He said happily.

"Kirby, get up!" A voice shouted.

Kirby stood up and turned in the direction of the voice, as did Poppy Senior…the kid! It was the kid! And everyone else too, they were all watching from a balcony above.

"You can beat him! Are you a star warrior or a wimp?" He yelled out to Kirby.

"We believe in you!" Tiff said.

"All of us!" Tuff added.

"Kick his can, Kirby!" Knuckle Joe said.

"You'd better not lose to nobody but ME!" Dedede insisted.

"The feeling is mutual." Meta Knight agreed.

Kirby nodded. He took up a fighting pose. "Come and get me, Poppy!"

"Okey dokey!" Poppy Senior said, throwing another bomb…

Which Kirby sucked up. WOOSH!

He jumped in the air, spinning around. A small cap appeared on his head, like Poppy Bros Senior, only blue and white instead of red and white. The bell jingled as Kirby summoned up a bomb in midair, grinning. He was now Bomb Kirby!

"Let's do this!" Kirby shouted.

"BOMBS away!" Poppy Senior wise-cracked. He held out both hands and at least a dozen mini-bombs appeared in each. He began tossing them rapidly at Kirby, who leapt back over and over. "You can't dodge forever!" Poppy Senior taunted.

True, Kirby thought. But I don't need to.

Poppy Senior soon ran out of bombs. He raised hands again to form more…PA-POOF! Kirby summoned his own, and threw it right at Poppy Senior's face. It hit him in the cheek…

KABLOOOEY!

He hit the ground, smoke rising from his face. "That hurt!" Poppy Senior complained in a not-so-cheerful fashion. "But I've got more where THAT came from!" He laughed, jumping up and raising his hands.

Kirby knew what he was about to do. He bolted for the side just Poppy Senior tossed a huge stick of dynamite at him. He barely made it away in time though, because the shockwave sent him flying up through the air, landing on his butt. "Owie!" Kirby complained, rubbing it.

"Come on, Kirby!" Tiff yelled. "You can beat him! He's just a bomb user!"

"JUST!?!" Poppy Senior looked offended. "I will have you know I also have ph34r powers!"

"What's that?" The kid asked. Tiff and Tuff looked confused too.

"Ph34r me!" Poppy Senior yelled.

Suddenly all of them shrieked and hid behind Dedede's huge frame. Also frightened, HE hid behind Meta Knight, who groaned as if to say "These guys are hopeless".

But Poppy Senior didn't turn in time to see the SECOND bomb that hit him in the gut.

KABLOOEY!

It made him fall to the ground, groaning horribly. "THAT…IS…ENOUGH…" He groaned, getting up. He closed his eyes and a ticking time bomb appeared. "Once this sticks to you, you're finished, Kirby!" Poppy Senior snickered, throwing the bomb.

Kirby saw it whiz towards him…

He whipped out a bomb…

And WHACKED the time bomb right at Poppy Senior. It whizzed through the air and stuck to Poppy Senior's butt as he turned to run.

"…this isn't funny." Poppy Senior said in a deadpan tone as the timer counted down to 0.

BA-BOOOOM!

And he went flying through the air, landing on the other end of the castle. The others all cheered. "Go Kirby, go Kirby!" "Awesome!" "You did it!" "Amazing!" "…not bad, I reckon." "You did well."

Kirby's ability faded away as he did his little victory dance, sliding along on the ground, cartwheeling, shaking his butt before finally ending with a punch to the air. "Poyo!" He shouted victoriously. "I did it!"


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

"I've made a decision." The kid announced to Dedede and Kirby once they were both back in the dining hall. "As both your personal trainers, it is my job to ensure that you both lose weight. It is ALSO my duty to ensure that the WAY in which you lose weight is one that works. Obviously dieting doesn't seem to be enough. Yet liposuction or other extremes are not the answer. Therefore…"

The kid crossed his arms and smiled. "We're going out on a trip through Dreamland. Think of it as camping. You'll have to live off the land and learn how to survive on your own, partaking of nature's bounty and learning that you can't just eat as much as you want, because out there…there will only be so much. You'll have to learn how to share the food, the duty of cleaning, and a tent."

"WHAT?!?" They both screamed.

"We've packed up your stuff, King Dedede." Knuckle Joe said.

"And we'll go with Kirby to help him pack up." Tiff said, Tuff nodding at her side.

Kirby blinked slowly. "I…I gotta…go camping? Eat…twigs and leaves…but…but…"

"Think of it as a week of adventure." The kid offered.

Kirby's grimace immediately turned into a huge beaming grin. "All right! Yay! I'll go pack my toothbrush, come on!" He said happily, grabbing Tiff and Tuff's hands and running quickly out of the dining hall, kicking up a cloud of smoke as he ran.

"Camping?! Noooooo!" Dedede howled, burying his face in his hands, collapsing on the ground. "Oh sweet LORDY, no!"

AT KIRBY'S HOUSE…

Kirby switched the television in his room on. "Hmm. Let's see what the weekly weather forecast for today is…"

"I'm not wearing any pants…film at 11. Also, the popcorn your little brother is about to eat…that's not butter in it." The newscaster on the TV said.

Tuff dropped the popcorn, coughing madly and running for the bathroom while Tiff blinked stupidly. "How on Earth?"

"The newscaster knows EVERYTHING!" Kirby said proudly. "That's why I watch him all the time! And yeah, I've been meaning to throw that popcorn out, that darn bird got to it-"

"And now for the weekly weather report, starting from today. Tomorrow on Thursday, we will have bright sunny yet also windy weather that will continue with the wind changing speed at different times until Saturday morning. It will get cloudy, and then there will be a large chance of rain starting from Saturday afternoon until Monday afternoon. Then on Tuesday it will be sunny until Wednesday, when it will be partly cloudy. Also, your little brother has accidentally slipped and fallen headfirst into the toilet."

"TIIIIIHHHHH!" Tuff shouted as best he could from the bathroom.

Tiff ran to the bathroom while Kirby put the last of his stuff into his suitcase. "Okay! All se-oops! Forgot my lucky pillow and blankie!" He re-opened his suitcase and put his pillow and blankie inside.

Tuff, dripping water, walked out of the bathroom, while his sister dried him off with a towel. He saw that Kirby was packing a pillow and a blanket and blinked. "A blankie? But that's for little-"

Then Tuff remembered something he had heard from the people in town. "Wait…is it true you can't read?"

Kirby blinked a few times as he put the suitcase lid shut. "Y-yes." He admitted. "I…I can't read very well".

"Why not?" Tiff asked, concerned.

"Well…nobody ever taught me." Kirby said quietly. "I…I don't know who my parents are, all I know is that I ended up in this house they must have left for me. I know that I didn't make it…I just always assumed they'd left it to me…maybe it was all they COULD leave for me. For all I know, they're a star in the sky…"

"What?"

"When people die, they become stars in the sky." Kirby said note-for-note. "That's what I always believed."

Tiff blinked a few times. Tuff didn't say anything.

Finally…

"That's…that's nice." Tiff said quietly. "That's sweet…" She realized.

Kirby blushed a little. "Thanks. Well, let's get going back to the castle to meet up with the others and head out! I hope Dedede isn't whining so much! He's such a Polly Prissypants!"

MEANWHILE…

"NOOOOOOOO!!!" Dedede howled as Knuckle Joe dragged him out of his room. "Don't make me goooooo!"

"Sorry, but no." Knuckle Joe said. "You're gonna go camping and you're going to LIKE it. We ALL will."

"We already packed all your stuff!" The kid said. "Now stop whining. Think of it as a one-week vacation away from the mobs."

Dedede stopped clawing the floor and blinked. "Well…a week away from the people is a week away from the people…" He admitted. "All right…but I'd better not get eaten by a bear!" He growled. "If I get eaten by a bear, I will come back and haunt you for life!"

"Get in line, I got a number of people who want to haunt me for life." The kid said. "Well…let's go meet Kirby! Today begins a new adventure!"


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

"Turn the adventure offffff…" Dedede complained.

They had all been walking for about 2 hours so far. They were quite far away from the town. Dedede however, had begun to complain.

"I'm so tiiiiired and huuuungry and thiiiirsty…" He whined.

"I…I don't wanna whine or nothin'…" Kirby admitted. "But I'm pretty hungry too…"

"All right, all right." The kid said as they sat down in a clearing in Wispy Woods. "We'll have ourselves some lunch."

Tiff and Tuff put their pouches on the ground while Meta Knight simply sat on a tree stump. He hadn't brought anything except a toothbrush and toothpaste. Knuckle Joe had brought a little duffel bag, and the kid had brought along a backpack, which he placed on the ground next to Kirby, who was sitting on his suitcase. Dedede had brought a trunk.

Yes. A trunk.

Guess what was in the trunk?

"You brought a HAIR DRYER?!?" Kirby asked as the king opened it up.

"Industrial strength. And I can't live without it!" Dedede snapped.

"You don't have hair." Kirby pointed out. "Or…or DO you?"

"EWWWWWWWW!!!" The kid shouted.

"Hey, everyone's got their problems I reckon." Dedede said. "Hey wait…I didn't pack no food…"

He looked at Tiff and Tuff. They shrugged. "Don't look at ME." Tuff said. "I thought YOU brought it…" Tiff said. "I thought YOU did." Tuff said in response.

"Uh…Meta-Knight?" Kirby asked.

"…" Meta Knight held up his toothbrush and toothpaste.

"Uh, I didn't pack any food either, kiddies." Knuckle Joe said. "I've just got the bare essentials…"

"AAA!!!" Dedede and Kirby howled, clutching each other. "WE'RE GONNA STARVE TO DEATH!"

"Oh stop whining!" The kid said. "Luckily for you dipsticks, I packed some stuff that'll help…"

He pulled out two fishing rods and a small box from his backpack. "Ta-da!" He said. "Kirby, Dedede, here you go." He handed them to the two whiners. "There's a river nearby, can you hear it?"

Kirby picked his head up and let go of Dedede, listening.

…

…trickle, trickle…

"Yeah, I hear it."

"Good. That means fish. The box has bait, so bring back some fish for lunch while we go look for berries." Knuckle Joe said.

"I shall go with them." Meta Knight said. "To be sure they do not EAT all of the fish they catch."

"I would never-" Kirby began.

But a harsh red glare from Meta Knight shut him up.

"Okay, you can come with us, I reckon." Dedede said. "But I'm a-bringin' my hammer."

"Why?" Nick asked.

LATER…

"YOU F—KIN' FISH! TAKE THAT AND THAT AND THAT!"

Dedede had quickly lost all of his patience while fishing. He raised his hammer up and brought it down with each word. "WHY-WON'T-YOU-BE-CAUGHT-BY-ME!?!"

Meanwhile, Kirby was simply sitting on a rock in front of the small river as it trickled down between the many trees of Wispy Woods. He was singing lightly.

"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn't hafta wait so loooong…" TUG. "And wo-what? Ooh, I gotta bite!" He tugged it up, and a HUGE fish flew off the hook, right onto the bank.

"Oh wow! It's huge!" Kirby realized. "I'll be eating well tonight!"

Meta Knight was sitting on the edge of the stream, skinning his fish that he had caught. There was a fairly large pile near him. They had no idea how he was managing to CATCH the fish, and it was probably a good idea.

"WE'LL be eating well. This is for everyone, remember?" He spoke up.

"Oh, right, right…" Kirby realized. "Hey Dedede, any-"

He stopped before he could finish his sentence. Dedede was sobbing, beating his fists on the ground and wailing about how he couldn't catch any fish.

"Uh…let me see your fishing rod." Kirby asked, walking over. As he walked over to Dedede…

WHAM!

Meta Knight went flying across the river, slamming heard-first into a tree. He groaned and collapsed on the ground, unconscious. Kirby and Dedede looked up at what had struck him…

A large creature stood there, grinning at them. It was none other than Bonkers, a hammer-wielding monkey. He had purple armor on, and a little purple helmet. He had large muscles, big thick feet, and large hands, almost as large as his hammer. Interestingly enough, they saw he had a strange-looking tattoo on his arm that resembled a circle with spikes inside of it, like a mouth almost.

"Oh, not _you_." Kirby groaned.

"Who's this joker again? Bunkers?"

"BONKERS, a—wipe!" Bonkers snarled.

"You swear too much! Don't you know if you swear too much your mouth will fall off?" Kirby said.

Bonkers flipped Kirby a VERY rude sign and then grabbed the small pile of fish Meta Knight had acquired. "I'll be takin' and eatin' THESE." He said, stuffing them into his mouth.

"Our fish!" Dedede shouted.

"You jerk!" Kirby yelled. "Dedede…let's get him!"

"Right." Dedede growled, arching his hammer up. "Nobody ruins MY lunch and gets away with it!"

Bonkers began snickering as Dedede and Kirby rushed at him. He swung his hammer, but the two ducked to each side, and then ran right at him. Bonkers jumped up onto a tree branch, then jumped right down, bringing his hammer down hard on Kirby, who let out a "POYO" of pain. Bonkers laughed and kept whacking him.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! This is more fun than stickin' a banana in-"

Suddenly a hammer hit HIM over the head. He groaned angrily as everything started ringing and he turned around to see Dedede holding his hammer at the ready. "I reckon y'all need to be taught some manners!" Dedede snarled, rushing forward. Bonkers growled and rushed at him. The two began to trade blows, while Kirby slowly got out from the crater he'd been pounded into.

He looked around. There HAD to be a weapon or something he could swallow to use as a weapon…wait…Galaxia! Meta Knight's weapon!

Sucking it up, Kirby felt a charge go through him. Galaxia re-appeared in midair and he grabbed it as his body glowed slightly. "BONKERS!" He yelled. Bonkers whacked Dedede away hard and turned around. "What, you little pink piece of s—t?"

"DON'T SWEAR!!!" Kirby yelled, slicing the air. A huge energy wave whizzed through it. It struck Bonkers head on, and he went flying through the air, over Wispy Woods, to land in some far off place. Kirby did his little victory dance, then walked over to Dedede, helping him up. The penguin looked…well, PROUD of Kirby.

"Reckon y'all did a number on him." Dedede said. "But…what we gonna do for L-well, it's Dinner now…all we got is that one fish…"

Kirby looked back at where Meta Knight was. "He seemed to know how to catch fish…let's try and wake him up…"

SOON…

"Well, this is enough berries." Tiff said. Tuff put down the basket of fruit.

"And it's a good thing I managed to score some apples." The kid said, holding up a small bag of apples he'd picked.

"I wonder how Kirby's doin' with Dedede and Meta Knight?" Knuckle Joe asked as he started the fire up.

"Hey guys!" Kirby said, coming out from the woods into the clearing they were in. He was holding a few HUGE fishes over his head. "Dinner's served!"

"Nice fish…" Nick complimented. "Wait…where are Dedede and Meta Knight?"

"This guy's HEAVY." Dedede said, carrying Meta Knight into the clearing. "I can't believe he got hit so hard he got all conked out…that darn Bonkers ate most of our fish, but at least I caught some more when I figured out how to use the right bait."

"Oh, what did you use?" Tiff asked.

"You know, a little of this…little of that…" Dedede said, shrugging.

A WHILE EARLIER.

"Oh God! Oh God no! Oh God, oh God no!" Rick the Hamster screamed as he clung to the fishing string as the fish snapped at him from below.

PRESENT…

"Uh…let's eat!" Kirby said. "But there's only three, so we'll divide each fish in half, I guess." He took out Galaxia and began cutting.

The kid smiled. Kirby was learning…


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

Dedede was taking a morning bath in the stream. It was kinda chilly, but he didn't mind. Neither did Kirby, who was playing with…well…

"Oh Rubber Ducky! You're the one!"

Squeak-squeak!

"You make bathtime lots of fun!"

Squeak-squeak!

"Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of you!"

"Squeak-squeak!"

"Ooh-ooh-ooh!"

"Stop playing with that darn rubber ducky!" Meta Knight said. "Now go away so I can get this over with it."

"…why can't y'all just bathe right here?" Dedede asked.

Meta Knight tossed them a glare. They remembered that he didn't like people looking at his face. "Oh, uh…we'll leave."

"Good." Meta Knight said curtly.

They walked off, taking their towels with them. King Dedede's was huge, and very expensive, but it did a great job in making him feel all squeaky clean and warm.

"Ahh." Dedede said, rubbing his butt with the towel. "That feels goooood!"

"Ew!" Kirby said. "Butts are gross."

"This from the guy who likes to stuff his face with anything he can lay his hands on!"

"I don't eat newspaper!" Kirby shouted. "Well…I'm tryin' to quit…"

They headed back to the clearing. Tiff and Tuff were sitting, trying to get a campfire started. Knuckle Joe was cutting up firewood with a quick, swift downward slice of his hands. The human kid was sitting Indian-style, holding his hands with his palms held up, taking in deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth.

"Aaa…ooo…aaa…"

"Watcha doin?" Kirby asked.

"I'm practicing my meditation."

"Med…nation?"

"Meditation. It's a way to relax and focus your mind at the same time. I use it to help me clear my head and reach Nirvana."

"Nerve-Anna?"

"Nirvana. A state of awareness beyond a normal level that people experience. Kind of like feeling what it's like to be in Heaven, I suppose."

"Ooooh!" Kirby said, his mouth making a perfect "o".

"Want to try it? It's great for martial arts."

"I know what THOSE are! This "meditation" helps you be a good martial artist?"

"Yeah!" Nick admitted.

"Ooh, I'll give it a try."

"Reckon' I will too." Dedede said, sitting down.

"I will join you as well." Knuckle Joe added.

"As will I." Meta Knight said.

"Us too." Tuff said, as Tiff walked over.

"All right." Nick said. "Now get comfortable, and hold your palms up so as to receive the blessings of God as they flow down and fill your soul. Relax your chi, your mind's energy, and let your body's energy, ki, flow out as we concentrate. Now, a single word drawn out is effective for focusing, so let's do the classic "ohm". Ohmmmmmm…"

"Ohmmm…"

"Ohmmm…"

"Ohmmm…"

"Uh…ohmmm…"

"Ohmmmum…."

"Ohmmm…"

"Ohmmm…"

"Ohmmmmmmmmm…"

"Uhhhh how long is this gonna take?" A voice asked.

The kid opened a single eye and looked around. "Ohm-what? Who disturbs our meditation as a pebble disturbs the stillness of a pond?"

"It's that there Dedede." Kirby snickered.

"Uh, no disrespect or nothin', but how long you reckon this is gonna take?" Dedede asked, raising his hand high.

"The road to Nirvana and martial arts themselves are not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon!" The kid said in a Zen fashion.

"So what, an hour or so?"

The kid rolled his eyes. "No, no, we've not even really started on the path. Dedede, you gotta learn to be patient."

Dedede waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, patience, how long will THAT take?!"

"The Frantics said this so it must be true: To a true student-master of martial arts, time has no meaning, and a year is as a day-"

"A YEAR!?! But we're only gonna be out here for 7 days, and I wanna learn how to beat people up right **now**!" Dedede complained. "Look, I even brought along pajamas that look perfect for this stuff!" He ran into his tent, and then a few moments later came back out in pajamas that were all white with a fuzzy belt. He looked SORT of like a martial artist. He then did some wannabe punches and kicks, then flexed off his muscles. "Hoo-ha-hoh! Hoyaaahhh!"

**SFX: Cricket's chirping**

"Beat…people…up." The kid said, confused.

"Yep! Show me all those nifty moves so I can start trashin' Kirby! That's why I wanna do this stuff! HIYAAA-WOAH-WAAA!" He did some more show-offy moves.

The kid groaned. "Dedede, martial arts are for self-defense! That's what all the Masters say!"

"Well the best defense is a good offense! Know who said that? Mel, the cook on "Alice"!"

"…look, martial arts are the wine of purity, not the vinegar of hostility." The kid said, trying to be calm. "Meditate on this truth with us. Ohmmm-"

"Look, wimpy, I'm getting really tired of this fag talk. Either you teach me some fancy moves or I'll start wiping the floor with you!" Dedede growled, reaching for his hammer.

The kid sighed. "Dedede…you asked for this. Come on up and I'll show you all a good move."

"Finally, some action!" Dedede said happily, walking up to Nick.

"Watch closely, everyone." The kid said. "Boot to the Head!"

**SHA-ZOOMP!**

THUNK!

"OWWW! You booted me in the heaaaad!" Dedede groaned, taking some drunkenly steps back.

"You're lucky you're still standing." The kid admonished him. "Most people get knocked to the ground after a single shot. Now let's get back to-"

"Hey, hey, hold on a second!" Dedede growled. "I weren't ready, but I reckon' I'm ready now! Come'n get me, unless yer chicken!" He began to imitate a chicken, flapping "wings" and going "Bawk-bawk" for a good five seconds until…

"Boot to the Head."

**SHA-ZOOMP!**

THUNK!

"Owww! Okay, now I'm-I'm ready, I'm…do it now, come on! HIT ME, WIMP!" Dedede groaned, trying to step forward.

"Boot to the Head!"

**SHA-ZOOMP!**

THUNK!

"Uhh…mind if I just…lie down for a sec?" Dedede said, falling on his back, groaning.

"Now then, let's get back to-"

"Hold up." Knuckle Joe said, standing up.

"It's wrong to tip the scales of knowledge, Knuckle Joe, what is it you wanna say?" The kid asked.

"Well, the fact is, I don't think ol' Dedede's totally wrong…" Knuckle Joe said, wiping the spot under his nose with one finger.

"How so?" The kid asked.

"Now I wanna boot some head." Knuckle Joe said.

"…uh…didn't you learn anything from what I just did?" The kid asked.

"Yeah. Two things. One: that rage is a weapon only for your opponent."

"That's very Zen, Knuckle Joe!" The kid said proudly. "I'm impressed."

"And two: get in the first shot-Boot to the Head."

**SHA-ZOOMP!**

SWISH!

The kid turned around to face Knuckle Joe, a large smile appearing on his face. "You missed." He said calmly.

"Uh, yeah. Well…"

"Now YOU'RE gonna learn a lesson!"

"Uh, you don't have to y'know, I, uh, I'm g-gonna go get some more firewood…"

"Boot to the Head!"

**SHA-ZOOMP!**

THUNK!

"OYY-OYY-OYYYYY…" Knuckle Joe groaned as he twitched on the ground.

"Who can tell me what we've learned from all of this?"

Kirby raised his arm. "Uh, that not a single one of us could beat you?" He shot out.

"You gain wisdom!" The kid said, clapping his hands.

"…so we'll hafta gang up on ya! GET 'EM, GUYS!" Kirby said, jumping forward along with the others.

"Boot to the Head!" "Boot to the Head!" "Boot to the Head!" "Boot to the Head!"**SHA-ZOOMP!**THUNK! **SHA-ZOOMP!**THUNK! **SHA-ZOOMP!**THUNK! **SHA-ZOOMP!** THUNK!

"Ohhhh…"

"My heaaaad…"

"Ugh…"

"Oooooh…"

"Right!" The kid said, clasping his hands together. "Let's get back to meditation. All together now! Ohmmm…"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhohmmmmmmm…" Everyone groaned.

"Goooood!" The kid said proudly.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

That night, as the campfire sent sparks flying up gently into the night sky, the kid popped two questions. One was if they were all still mad at him for booting them in the head. The answer was a glare. The second question was "Anyone wanna sing a song?"

They all blinked. "What?"

"You know! A song! Nothing like a song to get everyone into the camping spirit."

Kirby had been about to take another bite of the apple he had, but decided against it, putting it down to finish up what was in his mouth. He then swallowed and spoke. "Well…anyone good at singing? Everyone says I'm awful at singin' songs.""You ARE!" Was the consensus from everyone but the kid and Tiff. Kirby immediately teared up and began wiping his eyes. "Meanies!"

"Uh, we didn't mean it!" Tuff said. "It's just…we've all heard your singing before, and…well…you're NOT that good."

"He just needs to find a song genre he IS good at!" The human said, standing up. He pointed at his fancy watch. "It's just like learning how to eat right…you have to choose wisely, know when to go and when to stop, that's all! Here, let look through the music I've got on my watch here…let's see…oh, it turned on "Random"?"

"What's the deal with that watch?" Tuff asked.

"It's kind of got a mind of its own-oh, bubblegum pop!" The kid said. "What's this? "Best Friend"?"

Tiff's eyes widened. "I LOVE that song!" She said, jumping up. "Ooh, ooh, play it!"

Kirby blinked. "Bubblegum pop? Is it good to eat?"

"It means it's catchy and upbeat and danceable, and "innocent", like bubblegum!" The kid explained. "I like it myself. Okay Tiff, pick a dance partner, according to the music information, this song should be sung with two people…"

Tiff immediately smiled and pointed at Kirby. "Come on Kirby, I'm gonna help you sing for real. Come on over and I'll teach you the routine…"

Kirby walked over, quivering with excitement. Tiff brought him into the woods and began speaking with him, out of ear-shot of the others. "Wonder how they're gonna do…" The kid thought out loud.

"That Kirby couldn't hit a note if it stood right in front of him." Knuckle Joe complained.

"I reckon' that there Kirby couldn't carry a tune in a BUCKET." Dedede added.

Kirby and Tiff walked out of the forest. Both looked determined.

"Are you ready?" The human kid asked. They both nodded. "All right…play!"

**BGM: Best Friend, by Toy-Box**

Kirby flexed his muscles as best he could, exclaiming…

_Hoo__ ha! __Hoo__ ha!_

_Na__na__nanana__nanananananaaa!_ Tiff sang out.

_Na__na__nanana__nanananananaaa!_

She then turned in a circle, then winked at them all.

_Have you ever been in love?__He's my best friend best of all best friends, __do you have a best friend too? __It tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy-yummy, __hey, you should get a best friend too!_

She got back to back with Kirby, who posed. _H__o__o__ ha! __H__o__o__ ha!_

She then spun away, then came back to face in his direction as the two of them bounced up and down on their heels, leaning to look at each other. _Hello, baby, can I see a smile?_ Tiff asked.

_I'm going to a party, and it's gonna be wild! _Kirby told her.

Tiff sighed. _Can I come, I am sitting alone…_

Kirby shook his head. _No, friends are never alone!_

Tiff nodded, jumping into the air and landing in a split._That's right!_

She turned to face the others, getting up and dancing in pop style while Kirby joined in.

_Maybe…some pretty girls are in your world, __excuse me…_

She pointed at herself.

_I could also be your girl! __Lately, everyone is making fun…_

They both stuck their tongues out and lowered one eyelid.

_Na__na__na__na__na__na__na__na__na__na__na!_

The two then grabbed each other's hands and twirled around, singing.

_He's my best friend best of all best friends, __do you have a best friend too?__It tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy-yummy, __hey, you should get a best friend too!_

My best friend! Kirby sang out. The two let go, and Tiff pirouetted around, with Kirby posing again._Hoo__ ha! __Hoo__ ha!_

Kirby and Tiff then spun back to each other, with Kirby catching Tiff like a waltz partner. He then lifted her up in the air, over his head.

_Hoo__ ha! __Hoo__ ha!_

_Na__na__nanana__nanananananaaa! __Hoo__ ha __Hoo__ ha!_

Tiff jumped off and held Kirby's hand as the two bounced up and down on their heels again, singing. Tiff started it off.

_Aloha baby, let's go to the beach!_

_Yeah, girls in bikini are waiting for me (uh huh!)!_ Kirby laughed, spinning her away and doing a handstand.

_But I was hoping for a summer romance! _Tiff said, putting her hands on her hips.

_So why can't you take a chance? _Kirby asked her, jumping up, landing on his feet, then extending one arm to her.

_Okay!_ Tiff said, taking his arm, and the two began walking in a circle slowly, spinning each other occasionally, then repeating what they'd done before. _Maybe some pretty girls are in your world…__excuse me…I could also be your girl! __Lately, everyone is making fun…__Na__na__nanana__nanananananaaa!_

The two then did pop-dance techniques in front of the others, bouncing their bodies and grooving. _He's my best friend best of all best friends, __do you have a best friend too? __It tickles in my tummy, he is so yummy-yummy, __hey, you should get a best friend too!_

My best friend! Kirby sang as he began posing again.

_H__o__o__ ha! __Hoo__ ha! __Hoo__ ha! __Hoo__ ha! __Hoo__ ha! __Hoo__ ha!_

_Na __na__nanana__nanananananaaa!_ The two sang out. Tiff put her hands to her hips, tilting her body slightly.

_Maybe some pretty girls are in your world…__excuse me…I could also be your girl!_

_Lately, everyone is making fun…_

Kirby pointed at them all, grinning. _Let's get this party on, __hit me with laser-gun!_

He then leapt in the air, then landed on his head, spinning around quickly, so quickly he began to glow brightly…then in a small explosion, he went sailing through the air, landing in Tiff's arms. The two posed together._Oh whoa oh!_

_Hoo__ ha! __Hoo__ ha!_

_Oh whoa oh! __You should get a best friend too!_ Tiff sang, letting Kirby drop as they began singing again.

The two resumed their dual pop-dancing. _He's my best friend best of all best friends, __do you have a best friend too?__It tickles in my tummy, he is so yummy-yummy__hey, you should get a best friend too!_

_My best friend!_ Kirby said, twirling Tiff. _Hoo__ ha! __Hoo__ ha! __Hoo__ ha! __Ho ha_! Kirby finished up the last of his poses.

"He's sooooo sweet!" Tiff laughed.

_Na__na__nanana__nanananananaaa!_

They finally finished by holding out their arms to the group on the last part of the song.

(Music ends.)

The group was silent. Then…

Slow clapping from the kid. And then from Dedede. Then Tuff, then Knuckle Joe, then finally Meta Knight, and soon everyone was clapping enthusiastically.

"THAT-WAS-AWESOME!" The human kid cheered. "What did I tell you? It's all about choosing wisely!"

"Reckon y'all did a great job!" Dedede admitted. "Gotta admit, that song was mighty catchy!"

"You did great, Kirby! And Tiff, that was amazing dancing!" Tuff said in awe of his sister.

"You got style, kid." Knuckle Joe told Kirby.

"I am…impressed." Meta Knight told them both.

Tiff and Kirby found they were blushing as they stood together…

But not from the praise.

They were holding each other's hands behind their backs.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

"Dweepa-do-da-daaaa!" Dedede sang out as he walked through the forest with Kirby right next to him. "Shoob-shoob-shooby-do wa!"

"Stop that scat!" Kirby said. "I'm trying to remember what Meta Knight said to us this morning."

"It was "Don't forget to get 7 apples for dinner tonight." Dedede told him, shouldering his hammer. "One for each of us. Also, we're supposed to keep an eye out for wild animals we can kill and cook, from what Knuckle Joe told us."

"Didn't the human kid say he'd go catch some fish instead?" Kirby asked.

"True, but you know Knuckle Joe. He wants what he wants and can't help it. So he wants deer, we get deer. He wants a trophy, he fights till he gets a trophy. It's kind of like how I like having lots of money and power, and you like eating anything you can get your hands on…"

"I don't eat glue!" Kirby shouted.

Dedede stopped walking and stared at him. "…really?"

Kirby rubbed the back of his head with his pink, stubby little arm. "Well…I'm tryin' to quit and stuff…"

"Reckonbull."

"What?"

"Reckon that's a load of bull-"

"DON'T SWEAR!" Kirby shouted, stomping on Dedede's foot. Dedede howled and dropped his hammer, which hit Kirby on the head. Therefore, while the penguin as hopping up and down, howling, Kirby ran around and around in a circle, nursing his head and crying. They were doing this for a good half a minute before they calmed down some.

Well, actually…

"Forgetcha! I'm headin' back!" Dedede ranted. "I can' take this no mo!"

ELSEWHERE…

"Oh, 89 CDs of pop in the rack, 89 CDs of pop! Take one out, twist and shout, 88 CDs of pop in the rack! 88 CDs of pop in the rack-" Nick was singing as he did lay on his back, fishing rod stuck in a crack on a stump in front of the stream he was fishing in.

"Please stop." Meta-Knight said stiffly next to him. "I am trying to meditate so that I may boot some head when I am annoyed with my clan."

"Don't you just use your sword for that stuff?" Tuff asked, doing some handstands with Knuckle Joe. "Hup-two, hup-two, hup-two…" He and Tiff were trying to do some muscle-building exercises to help them with the hunting, the carrying of supplies, and most of all, to be able to boot people in the head.

"…yes." Meta Knight admitted. "But I want to add some variety to my life." He said, his eyes gleaming green in a thoughtful manner before reverting back to yellow.

"Then you should add more fiber to your-" Knuckle Joe began.

"Boot to the head." Meta Knight said quickly.

SHA-ZOOMP!

"…you missed."

"…um…"

"YOU GONNA GET IT NOW!" Knuckle Joe yelled, leaping on Meta Knight. The two began tussling and scratching and fighting each other. Tuff jumped off his hand and snickered. "Hey, Tiff, who do you think'll win?"

"This is so typical of guys." She complained.

"Well, I'm gonna go find Kirby and Dedede. I wanna help them find some apples." Tuff said, walking off into the forest, leaving the shouts of Meta Knight and Knuckle Joe behind as the human kid and Tiff tried to stop the two fighters to quit.

"Heh. Dummies." Tuff said. "You'd never catch me getting into some dumb fight for no…"

SCENE CUTS BACK IN HIS HEAD TO THREE WEEKS AGO:

"Son…why do I have to post bail for you?"

"Come on, dad, don't make me say it!"

"Say it."

"…I kicked Mabel and called her a "fraud"."

"Right. And then what?"

"I called her a "rip-off artist" and bit the policeman when he came to take me home."

"The very NICE policeman who's not going to press charges."

"Yeah, the very nice policeman who's not gonna press charges…"

PRESENT:

"…nevermind." Tuff groaned to himself. "Darn you brain, why do you hafta contradict everythin' good I think up about myself?"

Suddenly he heard something. A snap of a twig. He looked around suddenly. He had no idea how deeply into the woods he'd wandered…too deep, WAY too deep. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck. Maybe he should retrace his steps…

Uh oh. Which way had he come?

"Oh, darn it, darn it, darn it!" Tuff groaned, kicking the ground in frustration. "Darn stupid me had to go get lost…"

"That's a pity." A voice said suddenly.

Tuff stiffened up, looking around. Nothing. Who?...

"I originally came here for Kirby. I still intend to get him back. But before I begin, I'll need some practice…"

Suddenly Tuff knew, he could sense where the voice was coming from. But as he turned to face it-

SHA-WOOOOSH!

TWHACK!

Something long and slimy struck him in the face. Then it grabbed him and slammed him into a tree over and over and over-

Darkness overtook him.

The form that had struck at him withdrew its tongue and grinned in a grim fashion, sneaking through the woods towards the clearing…

Tiff groaned as Knuckle Joe and Meta Knight continued to fight. Couldn't those guys find something else to do? Honestly…

She went over to her tent, planning on getting her little whittling knife to do some whittling, but for some reason it wasn't there…

Odd. She could have SWORN she left it right on her sleeping bag-

Wait a minute…something was…was ON her sleeping bag, some invisible form…

Tuff realized it instantly. She wheeled around, running, desperately trying to reach the others, but she was barely out of the tent when a tongue wrapped around her mouth, keeping her from screaming as the large, yellow chameleon inside pulled her back in. It had sharp talons on its hands, hooks instead of feet, and a hooked tail, with large eyes that gazed intently at her. It had small pieces of feathery jewelry around its neck and a strange tattoo on its chest.

"Going to warn your friends? I think not…not yet, anyway…" It said. It lashed out with the flat of its hooked tail, and knocked her out cold. "Go to sleep for now." It whispered, lowering her gently down onto the sleeping bag. "You will be last, along with Kirby. No need for you to see the suffering of your friends…"

Meta Knight and Knuckle Joe were still rolling around, yelling at each other.

"I'M GONNA MAKE YOU EAT THAT CAPE!"

"GET OFF, YOU UPSTART BRAT!"

"MAKE ME, MASK-BOY!"

"I'LL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR HEADBAND!"

"LEMME SEE YOUR FACE YOU COWARD!"

"DON'T-TOUCH-THE-MASK!"

Meta-Knight suddenly punched Knuckle Joe off in a burst of strength. The fighter came down onto the ground hard, rubbing his head. "HA! Now for my-"

Before he could pull Galaxia out, a long tongue snagged around him. Before he could even get out a single cry he was yanked back, into the chameleon's large, open maw, and then promptly swallowed. Knuckle Joe gasped in horror as the large chameleon advanced towards him, but he regained his composure and flew at him, fist first…

The tongue shot out again.

Dedede stomped into the clearing. "Now I've had just about-HOLY MOTHERA GOD!"

He gasped as the chameleon turned to face him. "Ch-Chameleo Arm, the C-Combo Elemental!"

"Well, well. King Dedede. I didn't think you'd end up here, and on the menu."

"Wha? Ya-ya didn'!" He snarled, suddenly feeling horrified. "You ate them!? That's just…"

"Oh, you'll be joining them soon enough!" Before Dedede could draw his hammer, the tongue wrapped around HIM. But the King WAS huge, and tough. He pulled back.

"Ain't…gettin' me…that easy!" He shouted angrily. "KIRBY! KIRBY!"

But it was no use. Kirby was too far away. Dedede tried to shout again, but too late…Chameleo Arm yanked hard, and King Dedede went flying into the chameleon's mouth, who had to chew a few times before gulping down his prey.

"Ahh…" He said, feeling the bulging belly he now had. "Delicious. Only two more…" Chuckling, he turned invisible, blending into the surroundings to lie in wait…

"Hey guys!" Kirby shouted as he walked into the clearing, a basket full or ripe apples above his head. "I got you all apples, and I didn't even sneak a bite of one! I picked and chose wisely, so I guess I'm really learn-huh?" He stopped in place. Where…where was everyone? Kirby set the basket down and looked around. "Guys? GUYS!?" He shouted.

"KIRBY, HELP!" Tiff screamed. Kirby looked in the direction of her shout and gasped in horror. She was being held by an invisible force, up in the air, which slowly lowered her down. Then the force made itself visible…Chameleo Arm.

"What the? Chameleo Arm? What are you doing here!? Where are the others?" Kirby demanded to know.

"I ate them all." Chameleo Arm said simply. "They will become one with me, as shall you and the girl. I saved her and you for last…"

Kirby gasped in horror. "No…why? Why would you do something so horrible!?!"

Chameleo Arm threw his head back, laughing. "Why? _Why_? It is nature, child. Eat…or be eaten. That is simply how it is. I am living here and devouring prey as is my nature as a predator. The moment you entered this forest, you became prey. Other predators lurk in here, but I will be the one to make a meal of the great star warrior Kirby!"

"Let Tiff and my friends go! I'm the one you want!" Kirby begged.

"Why should I?" Chameleo Arm asked softly. "Although it does bother me to harm such a pretty little girl…" He leaned his head down to look at Tiff, who he hugged tightly to him against his chest. She gulped in fear. "I can't have you going back into town to get help to hunt me down, so…no witnesses. I suppose I'll have to go back and eat your brother too…"

He opened his jaws wide. "Be glad that in your death you shall provide me with nourishment that will serve me well once I rule over Wispy Woods as the greatest of all predators."

Before Kirby could do anything, Chameleo Arm's head clamped down over Tiff. He lifted his head and sucked her in, swallowing. Kirby put his arms to his mouth, horrified as his friend became a bulge that went down the chameleon's throat and into its large stomach. The chameleon then turned to him, and grinned. "And now, you too shall be painfully digested within my stomach…"

Before he could ensnare Kirby with his tongue, something struck him over the head. Kirby beamed with hope as Tuff appeared above the chameleon, a rock, bloodied with the Combo-elemental's blood, in his hands. "KIRBY!" He shouted, taking something out of his pocket and throwing it, "SUCK IT UP!"

Kirby sucked the object up and then leapt up into the air, spinning around. His skin became yellow as a pink, visor-cap appeared on his head. Spikes suddenly shout out from it, stabbing at the air, before becoming stationary as he landed back on the ground, taking up a fighting position. He was now Needle Kirby.

"I'm gonna MAKE you give my friends back!" He shouted, rushing at Chameleo Arm as Tuff jumped off to safety. He shot off a large needle at the chameleon, who leapt to the side.

"You'll have to do better than that!" Chameleo Arm said, opening his mouth and spitting out brightly-colored balls of energy that whizzed towards Kirby. Kirby did a cartwheel and dived away, firing off more needles at him.

"YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME **BREATH MINTS**!" Kirby snarled, bombarding the Combo Elemental with the needles as the chameleon ducked and dodged them as best he could. He sneered at Kirby and his tail lashed out, Kirby barely jumped back in time as it sliced the side of his face, drawing blood.

"Come on, boy! You'll have to do better than that!" Chameleo Arm laughed, belching more energy orbs at Kirby, who growled.

"FINE!" Kirby shouted, focusing his power and shooting his needles all over the place. It worked, and the energy orbs were shot down…

"AAA! KIRBY, WATCH IT!" Tuff shouted, nursing a slightly bleeding arm. Kirby gasped…he'd almost seriously hurt his friend!

"You're going to have to learn how to control yourself…too bad you won't be able to once I'm done with you." Chameleo Arm said, lashing out with his tail again, sending Kirby flying back. He hit the ground, groaning.

What to do? What could he…

Then he remembered…

"Choose wisely, choose wisely, choose wisely…"

Kirby nodded to himself. "Right…pick one out, choose wisely, I can do this!"

He stood up, taking up a pose. "Come and get me ugly!" He shouted. In response, Chameleo Arm belched out more energy orbs. Summoning up his concentration powers, Kirby focused. Only three, he thought…I only need three that will shoot out…

Suddenly he saw it, in his mind's eye. "THOSE!" He thought in his head. And three large spikes shot out…

Embedding in Chameleo Arm's arms and tail, pinning him to the ground after they shredded through the energy orbs. A triumphant Kirby walked over, the needle ability disappearing. He raised his arm, curled it into a semblance of a fist and then…

BAM-BAM-BAM!

"LET-THEM-GO-RIGHT-NOW-YOU-BIG-MEANY!"

"OWOWOWOWOWOUUUUGUHHHHHGHGH!!!"

Chameleo Arm promptly retched, and Dedede, Tuff, Knuckle Joe and Meta Knight were vomited out in a disgusting spray. Kirby didn't care, rushing over to hug them all happily. "OhguysI'msogladyou'reallokaaaayyyyy!"

"Stop…a-crushin'…me!" Dedede complained.

"Oogh…" Chameleo Arm groaned. "My stomaaaach…"

"Now then…" Tuff said, walking over and kicking the jerk a few times for good measure, much to the monster's discomfort, "What's the big idea of goin' after Kirby!? The whole "predator" thing's ridiculous! Don't you know that here in Dreamland we don't go around hurting sentient creatures?"

"Wow, I'm surprised you know a word like "sentient." Knuckle Joe said.

"Hey, what's going on?" A voice rang out. It was the human kid, approaching with some fish in a bucket. "I caught us all some fish-what the!? A chameleon?"

"Chameleo-Arm ate us!" Tiff said angrily. "And he wanted to eat Kirby!"

"What the? WHY?" Nick asked. "I mean, that's just gross!"

"I…am…a predator, I…I must…follow…" Chameleo Arm muttered.

"Oh come off it!" The kid shouted, tossing the bucket's contents onto the chameleon. It soaked the thing completely, with the fish slapping his face, and the water from the bucket…

Washed the tattoo away. Suddenly Chameleo Arm blinked a few times and said "Whuh…where am I? Why am I?"

His eyes went wide. "Oh no, I-I didn't…Kirby, you've got to-" He began to say. But suddenly…

KA-FWOOM!

He burst into flames, and then a moment later, was gone…

Dust…in the wind.


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

"So what do you think THAT was all about?" Tiff asked as they all hiked deeper into Wispy Woods.

The kid rubbed the back of his head. "Well, from my experience playing video games, watching movies, reading books, all that..he was trying to warn you about the true threat that's looming."

"Huh?" Kirby asked.

"That symbol on him, it was definitely controlling him against his will. So somebody with the power to take people over sent him after you, I think. In which case, it's a good possibility that-"

"They sent Bonkers?" Kirby asked.

"Yep. Fred was under the king's employ, so we don't need to worry about him, but I think we'll need to keep our eyes out." The kid deduced. "Whoever this "evil controlling mastermind" is, he or she or, heck, in your world even IT…probably isn't finished with you."

Dedede groaned. "I hate being out in this here outdoors so long! And how come Knuckle Joe's so happy?"

This was true. Knuckle Joe looked very happy, and was bounding ahead of them, eagerly walking down the trail.

"I guess it's true what they say in Australia: a Bushman can't survive on city lights."

"What…does that mean?" Meta Knight asked.

"It means, quite simply, that Knuckle Joe isn't the kind of person who likes hanging around the city. He's meant to be out and roaming free!"

"Got that right!" Knuckle Joe said. "Oh, look up ahead! It's a lake!"

And as they passed by some smaller trees and into a clearing, they saw…a HUGE, glistening blue lake, glinting off the light of the sun. It was a very pretty sight.

"WHO WANTS TO GO** SWIMMING**!?!" Kirby asked, throwing his stuff down and rushing towards the lake, diving in.

"Wait fer me!" Dedede complained, throwing off his clothes and also diving in.

"And us too!" Tiff and Tuff said, going in with their clothes still on, not wanting to wait one second.

The kid turned to look at Meta Knight. "Aren't you coming in?"

"I…do not swim…" Meta Knight said.

"Don't or can't?"

"…both…"

"Well come on, we'll teach you!" The kid walked back into the woods, then came back out wearing swim trunks that said "Aloha" on them, colored blue and green. "Now you go in and change."

"…I'd…rather not take my mask off…"

"Well leave it on then, but come on in!"

Meanwhile, Kirby had emerged from the water, holding a HUGE fish, a large yellowtail tuna over his head. "FOOD!" He shouted, stuffing it into his mouth. Tuff groaned. "Kirby, quit looking for food and let's play Marco Polo!"

"Marco!" Dedede called out.

"Polo!" Tiff replied.

"Marco!"

"Ralph Lauren!" The human yelled.

"Now y'all cut that out…" Dedede said.

Then something ha-UUUUGE burst out from the water around them. The water around certain unnamed individuals turned green at the sight.

"RAAAAAGH! KIRBY! KIIIIRBY!"

"KILLER WHALE!" Tuff hollered.

"DON'T EAT ME, I'M TOO FAT!" shouted Dedede, swimming for his life.

"ACRO ATTACK!" Kirby yelled.

"...wait…what the heck is an orca doing in a freshwater lake?" The kid asked.

"Waiting." Was the black and white, sharp-toothed whales reply. Its red eyes glistened like the water upon it's body. "Waiting for Kirby. Time to eat you up!" He roared, rushing at Kirby.

"KIRBY, SWIM FOR IT!" Tiff shouted.

Kirby barely swam away in time while the others got out of the lake as soon as possible. Turning around, Kirby was holding onto the angry Acro's fin as he jumped around.

"GET-OFF-ME!" It shouted over and over.

"Poyo-poyo-poyoooo!" Kirby cried as he was whipped back and forth. Poor little guy!

"We gotta do something!" Dedede said. "But how is Kirby gonna beat that thang?!"

Tiff suddenly realized something. "Dedede, your hammer...toss it to Kirby, quick!"

Kirby turned his head and saw them talking about the hammer. But he knew there was no way in HECK he could catch it unless…

"KIRBY, SUCK IT UP!" Tiff shouted, throwing it.

Kirby leapt off of Acro's fin, grabbing the hammer in midair…

And Acro's jaws closed right on him. He landed in the water with a satisfied "burp".

"That was easy." He remarked.

Then he heard noises. From inside. Very loud.

"Hey mister, ya shoulda chewed yer food! Oh looky, throat-dangly-thingy! And I've got a hammer!"

"Oh you evil-"

KA-TWHACK!

"GAAAHHHHHH!!!"

KA-THWUMP!

"GAAAAHHHKKKKHHH!!!!"

And WA-WOOSH! Out went Kirby from the orca's mouth, covered in saliva. He promptly kicked off the beach and rushed right at Acro, and with a huge WHACK, sent him flying out of the lake, beaching the killer whale.

The kid ran over and splashed water on him.

"Hey!" Tuff shouted. "Don't go symphonizing with the enemy!"

"YEAH!" Kirby agreed.

"It's "sympathizing"." Tiff corrected.

"…oh." They both remarked.

"Hey look, that funny mark!" Tiff said as they approached the beached killer whale, pointing at its stomach. "But it's water-proof. Hmm. How do you get rid of a water-proof-"

Meta Knight held up a sword. "Anyone ever tasted orca?" He asked.

**AH-HEM.**** IN THE INTEREST'S OF ALL THOSE SYMPATHETIC WITH ANIMALS AND TO KEEP THE PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF ANIMALS FROM THROWING BLOOD ON ME OR WHATNOT, WE NOW SKIP THE RATHER GORY SCENE DESCRIBING WHAT HAPPENED AND MOVE STRAIGHT ONTO THE NEXT PART IN THE STORY.**

"Tastes rubbery." Kirby commented.

"Don't taste like chicken, that's fer sure." Dedede agreed.

"I think I may vomit." The kid remarked.

"Mmm. Chewy!" Tuff said.

"I dunno…little ketchup…some salsa maybe…this would taste pretty good." Knuckle Joe told them.

"Couldn't we have found a DIFFERENT way to get that tattoo mark off of Orca?" Tiff asked.

"True…but this was the tastiest way." Meta Knight explained. He held up a bottle to Tiff as they all sat around the campfire. "Soy sauce?"

**Author's Note:**

**One: Do you think I'll burn in Heck for putting this chapter up? And two: REVIEW, darn you!**


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

"Come on, sing us a song!"

It was another nice night around the campfire, night four to be exact. Everyone was having a wild-chicken dinner that Kirby had cooked up himself. He was being more considerate now, and had not even yet asked if "anyone was gonna eat that". Apparently the treatment of being out in the wild was working! In fact, he was eating less and less every night!

Now they all sat around the campfire, and everyone had done a round of singing…except the kid, who was nervous.

"Gee, I dunno…" He said. "I…I kinda get really hot under the collar whenever I sing in front of large groups…"

"This group look large ta you?" Knuckle Joe asked, motioning at everyone.

The kid shrugged. "Okay, I'll sing. Uh…hold on…let me get the music going…"

He pressed a button or two on his watch, and suddenly a song began to play…and he began to sing!

**BGM: Cosmic Castaway, by Electrasy**

_Lose my head to the chemical freeway, __Comin__' up on overload!__In a mystic new dimension, __Purify and sanctify me! _

_What, so I'm in no endgame! __Move my piece right off the board! __Losing sure is easy, so I am no more!_

_But I'm not broken…in my dream I win! __Out there I'm nothing…a Cosmic Castawaaaaay!_

_In my head I'm a chemical dreamer, __Speed up to burnout mode! __Comin' up in the 5th dimension, __Beautify don't crucify me, yeah! _

_So I need no mind game poisoning my lonely soul, __Losing sure is easy so I am no more!_

_But I'm not broken, in my dream I win, __And I take over, coz I'm no loser! _

_And I'm in and you're not…__Bad dreams don't stop!_

_But I'm all screwed up, a Cosmic Castaway, eee-yeah!_

_A Cosmic Castaway, eee-yeah! A Cosmic Castawaaaay!_

_And I want but have…not…__Bad dreams…lust thoughts… __In…here with no pain, you hurt…me…a…gain…_

_And I want…but have none… __I should…beat the aaaaalien…_

_But here I'm…no…one…_

_A__ Cosmic Castaway, eee-yeah!_

_A Cosmic Castaway, eee-yeah!_

_A Cosmic Castaway, eee-yeah!_

_A Cosmic Castawaaaaaaaay!_

As the music slowly came to an end, they all clapped enthusiastically. "Great, great!" Kirby said. "Who did that song originally?"

"Electrasy."

"Electricity?"

"No, no, spell it. ELECT-RAS-Y."

"El…ech…trah…see…"

"Right!"

"Electrasy. Alright! I'm getting the hang of this!"

"Wait…Kirby, can you read or write?"

Kirby hung his head down. "N-not really well, no…but I'm working on it…really, I am. Er, how about we all do some excercises?"

"Kirby, we exercised this morning already and yesterday afternoon!" Knuckle Joe said. "You don't overexert yourself, kid…"

"Say Tiff, do you have any books that could help Kirby with his little reading problem?" The kid asked.

Tiff pulled out a small book that read "Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying". "Well, as a matter of fact, I do! This is one of my favorite stories."

She sat next to Kirby and held the book in front of him. "Now go ahead and let's start with the title."

"Okay…" Kirby said, a little bit nervous. "E-Eth…ell the Aardvark…goes…qu-qu-quant…quantity…sur-sur-surveying."

"Right!" Tiff said. "Good job!" She gave him a hug. "Nice one!"

Kirby turned bright red in the cheeks. "Awwww…shuuuucks." He said.

"Now try to read the first sentence!" Tiff said, opening the book. Kirby looked at it and squinted.

"Uh…Et-Ethel the Aardvark was…was hopping down the-"

Unfortunately nobody would ever find out what happened to Ethel, because at that moment, Dedede shouted "HIT THE DECK!" and everyone ducked to the side…and the book slipped out of Kirby's arm/hands.

BOOOM! It was exploded, along with the immediate vicinity, into a crater. The fire was extinguished as they all looked up and saw somebody coming down near the ground from above…a bomber plane of two different shades of green, wearing traditional pilot gear and a white scarf.

"BOMBAR!" Kirby shouted, surprised. Bombar would have grinned if he could have, but his eyes showed that he was leering at them.

"Target in sight, identified as Kirby! Welly, welly, look what we got here…interferences!"

"Ooh, I haaaaaate that! I just wanna zap Kirby so hard he'll think he's in the chair! Lemme fry him, lemme fry him!"

"Kracko…" Meta Knight remarked. Kracko was a living thundercloud of white, with a single large pupil in the middle of his form, with large spikes all around the puffiness of his cloudy body. He sparkled with lightning and cackled madly.

"Don't forget me." A Russian-sounding voice said, and they saw a fat, black-overall wearing walrus with a blue "mustache" and his big blue butt sticking out of his overalls. He also was wearing blue shoes and looked pretty tough for a fat, pale white walrus. He was riding on top of Bombar.

"I know you! You're Mr. Frosty!" Tuff shouted. "You threw ice chunks at us last winter!" He growled angrily. "You ruined our snowball fight!"

"Whining…I despise it." A final, chilling, familiar voice said. They looked up and saw a shadow flying in, in the outline of the moon. He landed and flung his cape back…

"DARK META KNIGHT." Meta Knight

"Orders, captain?" Bombar asked Dark Meta Knight as the evil copy of Meta Knight landed on the ground.

"Steady as she goes." He responded. His black skin behind the mask was reflected only by the darkness of his heart: he had about as much honor in him as a washing machine, and even his eyes were off…they glowed orange. He looked very creepy in the night as the moon provided the only light for our heroes.

"We're here for Kirby, but if you get in the way, well…it happens." He said simply. "But if you hand him over, then we'll only beat you up a LITTLE."

BAM!

He was sent flying back when Knuckle Joe slammed his fist into his side, making him collide with a tree as several Vulcan Jabs sent the others back a few feet.

"Everyone pick a foe!" Meta Knight shouted. "Dark Meta Knight is MINE!"

"That electrical blowhard Kracko is going down!" Knuckle Joe insisted.

"Reckon' that Bombar's gonna get taught a lesson for making me dirty up mah coat!" Dedede snarled, hoisting up his hammer.

"I guess it's up to me to ice Mr. Frosty." Kirby. "Tiff, Tuff, Mr. Nick, could you-?"

"We got your back!" They said, getting into fighting poses.

And so it began! Dark Meta Knight and Meta Knight lunged at each other, swords going "CHA-CHING" as they clashed and slashed. Meta Knight swung his sword down, followed up with a quick upward slice and then did a spinning attack, but his darker opponent simply blocked all of the attacks save for the last one, jumping back to avoid it. He then jumped into the air and lunged down at Meta Knight, aiming to impale him.

Meanwhile, Kracko sent out bolts of electricity from his spiked and cloudy body to try and fry Knuckle Joe, who simply sidestepped out of the way time and time again. "You can't keep dodging FOREVER!" Kracko laughed, cackling madly. "Yer right. But I don't need to!" Knuckle Joe said, backflipping back before he let loose a flying Vulcan Jab that sent a powerful energy punch right at Kracko's eye…but Kracko just shot it down with a flying spike. Knuckle Joe groaned. How on Earth could he?...

Dedede however, was doing even WORSE than Knuckle Joe and Meta Knight. Bombar was just plain faster than he was, and was obviously taking his time, bombing the area around Dedede and eyes showing genuine contemptuous humor as Dedede…well, ran around squawking. But then Bombar made the mistake of stopping to laugh…and that's when Dedede turned around, fire in his eyes. He jumped up, higher than he should have, and swung his hammer…and it rebounded harmlessly, making Dedede fall off onto his big, squishy penguin butt. He rubbed his sore butt and moaned. How was he going to?...

And Mr. Frosty…er…

"Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?" Tuff laughed as Tiff boxed him on the nose with his own fist. Kirby and the kid looked at each other, then shook each other's hands. "Remember Kirby…time it JUST right, and this'll be over and done!"

"Right!" Kirby said. The kid jumped behind Mr. Frosty. "Tiff, Tuff, NOW!"

Kirby and the kid rushed forward as Tiff and Tuff let go of Mr. Frosty who got up and blinked. "What are you-"

He hadn't seen the kid behind him. He turned around slightly and saw the kid rushing, then turned his head to look at Kirby again. Understanding what was about to happen he tried to jump away…

Too late! BA-BAAAAM! Their fists…or in Kirby's case, his arm-stub, collided hard with his big, "jolly" stomach and back. He gasped…and fell down, totally unconscious. Kirby grinned.

"HA! We did it! Weeee!" He began to do his signature dance. "Do-da-da-da-do-do…"

Meta Knight calmly walked over, wiping blood of off his sword. He'd used it to knock Dark Meta Knight's sword right out of his hands and then had impaled his evil counterpart. Kracko was on the ground, sparkling uselessly as Dedede twirled his hammer. "Electricity don't work on wood! Ha-ha-ha!" He laughed. Knuckle Joe dusted off his fists as he walked away from a grounded Bombar, who's gear was totally wrecked. "Smart idea, Dedede, getting us to switch opponents. I guess you have your moments."

"Reckon I do!" Dedede said proudly.

Then he frowned. "Hey, **_waitaminute_**!"

Kirby had stopped dancing and sighed. "I'm tired, I think…I'm…gonna…phew…"

He suddenly conked out and hit the ground. Tiff and the others ran to him. Picking him up and carrying him back to his tent, Tiff tucked him in and gently covered him with his blanket as she zipped up the tent.

"He's so tired." She said. "You know, he's been going to sleep earlier and earlier every day. I don't mind that, but he also seems…kind of…you know…"

"Not as healthy? I have noticed." Meta Knight remarked. "He has been eating less…"

The kid groaned. "I haven't gotten him to learn the lesson he needs to learn…but don't worry…I'll talk with him tomorrow…"


	18. Chapter 18

**EIGHTEEN**

Kirby woke up…to the smell of pancakes.

"PANCAKES!" He shouted, running out of his tent. The kid was the only one there and awake from the looks of it, and a gentle wind blew. "Here, come on, sit down." He said, patting the area to his right. Kirby sat down next to him and noticed that there were still stars in the sky…and the sun had not yet risen. Still…pancakes…

"Kirby…I admire that you've been keeping your gluttony under control, but you're not quite learning the most important lesson of all."

"What lesson is that?"

"Remember when I said you had to choose wisely? I didn't mean for you to give up eating altogether!"

"I-I haven't done that…have I?"

Then he thought about it. I mean REALLY thought about it. Putting his little stubby arm to his mouth, he blinked his black eyes slowly in deep thought.

…

…

…

…and then he went "ooooohhhhhhhh" and lowered his head.

"I…I guess I have been going overboard. So then, what am I supposed to do? Go back to being a glutton?""No, no, no!" the kid said, shaking his head. "Look…" He took the pancakes off from the griddle he was roasting them on over the campfire and put them on a plate. "How many cakes do you think I'm going to eat?"

Kirby rubbed his head. "Gee…uh…3?"

"Good, good! Because that's a good amount. Not too little, not too much. Do you understand?"

"…no…"

"…sigh…" The kid took in a deep breath, the looked back at Kirby, away from the fire. "Look, remember when Knuckle Joe was speaking to you on that night that we all were attacked by Bombar and Mr. Frosty and Kracko and Dark Meta Knight?"

"Oh, yeah!" Kirby said. "He said something about…uh…over…overexceprting?"

"Overexerting. Overdoing it."

"…wait…I think I kind of get it…" Kirby said, rubbing the back of his head. "So…I'm not supposed to just up and quit food, but I shouldn't pig out either…I gotta find a middle ground, right?"

The kid nodded, beaming. "Yep. Temperance, Kirby. Moderation. It's a "dis-ci-prin" that comes from within, and the potential for it, for improving ourselves…it's in everyone!"

He poked Kirby in the stomach, making him giggle "Po-poyooo!" and fall on his side, still giggling. "Even you, Kirby."

Kirby got up and smiled. "I…I think I get it. I'll…I'll take three pancakes too."

The smiled. "Sure." He held up a little bottle from out of his backpack. "Maple syrup with butter melted into it?"

"…just a little syrup, please." Kirby asked, holding up his plate.

The kid smiled and poured the syrup and then put some on his own pancakes. The others, one by one, woke up and came down to join them.

"These are really good!" Tiff said, sitting next to Kirby. Kirby smiled at her. "You have a bit of syrup on your cheek." He said, reaching out and taking it off with his arm, gently sweeping it off and then licking it off with a single flick of his tongue. He then blushed when Tiff whispered "thanks" and turned to look at the horizon.

"Hey, look!" Tuff said suddenly. "The sun's rising."

Meta Knight's eyes seemed to reflect the rising sun as the expression for a genuine smile appeared in what little shone out from the darkness of his helmet. "I do always enjoy seeing the sunset."

"…sure is pretty." Knuckle Joe said."Reckon course." Dedede thought.

"Yeah…" Tiff murmured.

"No kidding." Tuff agreed.

"…it really is pretty…" Kirby spoke softly.

The kid smiled broadly. "There's no place where a man can hide the sunrise." He told them, and somehow his words meant something besides their literal meaning. They weren't sure how they knew that, they just did.


	19. Chapter 19

**NINETEEN**

And so, a few days later, Kirby and the others returned to town. They stepped onto the main street and found a lot of people…practically the whole town actually…was huddled around Mabel's fortune telling booth!

"Oh dear!" Kirby heard someone say. "Is she conscious?"

"Doctor, give it to us straight! Is she going to die?"

"DIE!?!" Kirby shouted. "Mabel can't die! I still haven't apologized to her!" He ran toward the booth, dropping his stuff while the others dropped THEIR things and ran after him. Pushing his way through the crowd, Kirby jumped into the booth and saw Mabel had fainted at her fortune-telling circular table, crystal ball on the floor. He picked it up and jumped on the table, putting it back. "Mabel? Mabel?" Kirby whispered.

No answer. The doctor's mustache twitched, it's white hair glistening in the light. He sighed and dusted his glasses off, then put them back on. "I can't get her to wake up. She…she's alive, but she just doesn't seem to be responding at all…"

The kid walked in first, followed by Tiff, Tuff, Meta Knight, Knuckle Joe and then finally Dedede. The kid instantly shivered. "Wooooaaaah! The Willies!"

"The Willies?" Kirby asked. "Oh, I know what those are! Something to do with your soul, right?"

"Yeah…there's a spiritual disturbance in here…I think Mabel's under a spell!"

"That would make some sense…" Meta Knight agreed. "I believe…I believe that her soul has been locked in limbo due to a curse of some kind, I have seen this sort of thing before. Perhaps-"

Kirby shook Mabel back and forth. "Mabel! Mabel, please, PLEASE wake up! Don't be dead, PLEEEAAASE!" He buried his face in her chest. "I didn't mean to make you upset, Mabel…I'm so sorry, I'll bet you got cursed because of me…just like those guys who came after me…oh, this is all my fault!"

"Kirby, it's not-" Tiff began. But Kirby was not crying, tears falling down. He looked so pitiful as gentle droplets began to make their way down his cheeks.

"Please Mabel…please be okay…I'm sorry for what I did, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry…" He begged, tugging on her shawl.

DRIP…

DRIP…

Two droplets fell onto her. And then…

Her eyelids fluttered open. "Ohhh…K-Kirby? Is…is that truly you?"

"Mabel!" Kirby shouted, hugging her. "I'm so happy you're okay!"

The people cheered. Tiff smiled as Tuff and Knuckle Joe and Dedede danced around, holding each other's hands as they danced in a ring going "she's not dead, she's not dead, she's not dead". Meta Knight simply laughed softly, and the kid stepped forward.

"Mabel, did you…did you send people after Kirby?"

Mabel bowed her head. "I did…I did a terrible wrong. I wanted to teach Kirby a lesson for his gluttony…but the curse had a condition with it. If they failed to defeat Kirby, then I would be rendered soulless until…until the one I'd cursed appeared with true regret for his misdeeds…the true regret found in tears…"

"So the curse rebounded on you and Kirby's tears brought you back from the brink? You're lucky that Kirby's Kirby!" Tiff said. "Kirby may have some problems…"

"And I'm still learning to work on my temperance…"

"But he honestly doesn't like seeing people hurt. Mabel, I think you owe Kirby an apology!" Tiff said, crossing her arms, brows furrowed.

Everyone nodded, murmuring agreement. The kid pointed. "Make up. You don't' gotta kiss, but make up."

Mabel rubbed the back of her neck, then held out her hand. "Kirby, I am so sorry. I should have just spoke with you instead of cursing you. I shall have to burn my book of spells the first thing tomorrow morning! I hope you can forgive me."

"No problem!" Kirby said. "I forgive you. You just need to learn some control!"

Mabel blinked. "What?"

"You don't have to give up spells. You just need to learn discipline! And that comes from within! But…"

He poked Mabel in the stomach. "EVERYONE has it! I'm gonna teach you how to control your temper and mellow out, and you can help me moderate my eating habits! I'm trying to wean myself off of glue, so…"

Mabel smiled. "Okay. Do we have a deal?" She asked, holding out her hand again.

Kirby held out his stubby arm. "Deal." He said. "Deal."


	20. Chapter 20 and Epilogue

**TWENTY**

Kirby happily popped the mail inside the mailbox, walking back down the road to his home, passing through the marketplace. Signs were up all over the place, advertising for the big annual fireworks celebration that was coming up. He walked into Mabel the Fortune-Teller's booth and smiled as she stood up, having finished reading the kid's fortune.

"Hey Kirby!" The kid said. "Guess what? I'm going to get rich very soon. Also, you're going to sing in the karaoke competition and I'm going to help you out!"

"Really?" Kirby asked. "But…but they won't let me sing!"

"Oh yes they will!" Mabel said. "Here, sit down…"

The kid got up and Kirby sat down across from Mabel, who hummed a strange tune as she rubbed her crystal ball.

"The psychic powers are coming to me…I can see…I can see…I can see your future!"

"Ooh, ooh!" Kirby leaned right towards the crystal ball and put his face up to it. "What do you see?" He asked.

"You shall see as well…BEHOLD!" She tapped the crystal ball and suddenly the insides became a swirling, passionate blend of rainbow-colored dots that whizzed around, forming into an image…

"Oh, it's Dedede!" Kirby said. "He's speaking with the contest council! I recognize them from last year when I was turned down…"

"How come?"

"I sang "She Bangs". They said "He sucks"." Kirby mumbled.

"Oh. That stinks out loud."

"I can see Dedede convincing them to let you sing…and they are allowing you to sing…with a partner!"

"A partner? Who? Who?" Kirby asked, giddy with excitement.

"I see a girl with a ponytail…she has a pretty dress and you know her well…"

"Ooh, Tiff! She's so nice to me…"

"Aw, Kirby! You gotta crush!" The kid said, giving Kirby a noogie on the head.

"H-hey, I...okay, maybe I do…" He admitted.

"Now I see…a yoyo!"

"What?" The kid said, face deadpanning.

"It's under your sofa."

"Oh, so THAT'S where it went!"

Mabel rubbed the ball again. "I can see you had chocolate milk earlier today!"

"Wow! How'd you know THAT?"

"Your shoes are stained."

Kirby blushed. "Oh…er, uh…what should I sing?"

Mabel held her head and concentrated, shaking slightly. "Ha-hmmmmmm! Ha-hmmmmmmmmm-AH-HA! I've got it! Look into the crystal ball, which knoweth all!"

Kirby looked back into the ball and saw 6 shining letters. "C-A-R-T-E-L"…Cartel?"

"I know that band!" The kid said. "I can definitely help you out there…but where's Tiff? We should practice with her."

"I shall use the crystal ball again…"

Suddenly the ball turned black. Mabel, the kid and Kirby blinked. "What the?" Kirby asked. "What's this?"

"Someone's using another spell to look in on her and it's overriding my psychic powers!"

"Who would be doing that?" Kirby asked.

NOT THAT FAR AWAY…

"Yeah, buddy!" Waddle Doo exclaimed as Waddle Dee finished up the spell, rolling his eyes.

_GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS! LONG LEGS AND BURGANDY LIPS! _

_GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS! DANCIN' OUT ON THE SUNSET STRIP! __GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS!_

Tiff was showering in the ladies bathroom at the pool along with several other girls. Suddenly one of them looked right in the direction of Waddle Doo, glaring.

"Hey girls…looks like we've got ourselves a peekah!"

POINK! Two fingers somehow shot out of the crystal ball and poked Waddle Doo in his eye. Waddle Dee began to laugh hysterically, rolling on the ground as the crystal ball fell out of Waddle Doo's grasp and he rolled on the ground, groaning in pain.

The kid, back in the booth, suddenly grinned. "I…I feel a balance has been restored." He said in a zen fashion.

"So Nick, who's this "Cartel?"…" Kirby asked, and the kid smiled and let him outside the booth as he began to explain.

**EPILOGUE**

"You ready?" The kid said.

It was almost time for the big annual fireworks celebration. But just before they started, it was tradition for there to be karaoke! Usually Kirby was disbarred from entering, but this year, Kirby had a plan and somebody to sing with! He stood behind a red curtain with the kid and Tiff while the crowd outside waited calmly. Dedede, Meta Knight and Knuckle Joe sat in the front row, while Tuff came back with drinks and popcorn, passing them around.

"I…guess…Tiff?"

Tiff grinned and gave him a big hug. "Course I'm ready, silly! Now let's rock their socks off!"

"R-right!" Kirby said, blushing. The curtain went up…

**BGM: Lose It, by Cartel**

With the kid providing the music for the song thanks to his watch, Kirby and Tiff took their places, and Kirby opened his mouth, letting the song flow through him.

_Well it's that time…__It's that time again! __Well it's all coming back around, __there she sees me, __Oh my god!-this is who I've been! __And I'm branding each day! __Go on and lose it, __Go on and lose it all! __Go on and lose it, __Go on and lose it all! __(Go, go) __Go on and lose it, __Go on and lose it all! __Go on and lose it, __Go on and lose it all! __Immediately we find out then…__That I can be blamed for this! __Well then you just figured out today…__And you're so sweet, you say…_

Tiff grinned and struck a pose, pointing right at Kirby, singing out:

_Go now and get y__our own life and live it your way! __And I hear you say…_

Now they BOTH sang out, and people were eagerly cheering them on. Tuff looked so proud of his sister, beaming up from the audience…

_Go on and lose it, __Go on and lose it all! __Go on and lose it, __Go on and lose it all! __(Go, go) __Go on and lose it__Go on and lose it all!__Go on and lose it, __Go on and lose it all! __Hey, hey! __Whoaaaa-oooh-aaaahhh! __Hey, hey, hey!_

Kirby alone!

_Well, and if we find another then…__We will get ours!_

Tiff's turn!

_And if we find another then...__We__ will get ours!_

Back to Kirby!

_She's picking up her clothes, __She's__ off and she's running, __She says to me…_

Tiff grinned and winked.

_Go on and lose it!_

Kirby beamed back and then jumped in the air, landing with a pose.

_I know she meant well, but I couldn't tell,_

_Then she said to me __'Go on and lose it all'!_

Now both sang out, dancing together, spinning around and around as the lights above them captured their dance…

_Go on and lose it __aaaaallll! __Go on and lose it __aaaalllll! __Go on and lose it all…__Go on and lose it __aaaaaaaaalllllllll!_

The crowd went wild as fireworks erupted above Tiff and Kirby, who grinned and hugged each other. "Hey, let's go watch the fireworks!" Kirby said. He raised his hand. "Let's go, Warpstar!" He shouted. A glowing, bright golden star flew from across the crowd and Kirby helped Tiff up onto it. "We're gonna have the best seat in the house!" Kirby said as they soared up into the night sky.

The kid, smiling, walked away from the stage and saluted Kirby's star with his middle and pointer finger as it soared off. "You're on your way!" He said. "Now I gotta get going on my own."

He walked behind the stage, into the town, and followed the road. It was time for him to move on, he had a lot of things to do on his Grand Tour, places to see, wrongs to be righted, and most importantly…

People to help…people who would become friends.

_You're on your way Kirby…and I have a feeling you're gonna take great care of yourself…_

"What an amazing and wonderous story! Tell another, please!"

"Why, with the greatest pleasure! It all began..."


End file.
